Once Burned
by X-Chick303
Summary: While visiting a resort, the crew comes across an old friend of Sanji's from the North Blue named Schuyler. At first they take to her, her Luffy-esque nature making her fun (and a bit annoying) to have around. But it's soon revealed that Schuyler may not be the same girl Sanji befriended all those years ago. After all, one doesn't earn the epithet "Captain Killer" for nothing...
1. Prologue: The Past

_Even if there are times_

_When we are far apart_

_Through it all remember_

_I'll be there in your heart..._

**_- One Piece Ending 10 "Faith", English sung by Caitlin Glass_**

* * *

_**Many Years Ago..**_

Snow was falling lightly on the island. Would you expect any less in the North Blue? It was cold almost year-round, except for a few more mild months in the summer and late spring.

Through the snow, a young boy trudged towards the harbor, dragging the knapsack filled with his only belongings behind him. He was ready to get off this island. He'd had enough of the cold, enough the orphanage, and enough everything here in general. He was never going to accomplish his goals staying on a stupid island like this. It took some groveling, but he had been able to get an apprenticeship on a cruise ship heading to the East Blue. On that ship, he'd be able to learn everything he needed to know that he couldn't learn here.

"Sanji-chan! Sanji-chan, wait up!"

Sanji froze in mid-step. Dang it, he'd been hoping to make a quiet exit, but he should've known she would notice.

He turned to see a girl from the orphanage, one of the few that had been his friend. She was a few years older than him, but she had always been nice to him. Her hair was ink black, long but jagged. Her eyes sparkled a bright green color.

"Sanji-chan, where are you going?" she asked, teeth chattering from the cold. "You weren't serious about leaving, were you? You can't go out to sea alone, you're just a kid!"

"You're a kid too, Schuyler," Sanji pointed out bluntly, adjusting his pack. "And I won't be alone. I'm going to be an apprentice chef on a cruise ship. I'll have other chefs looking out for me."

"You're eight years old, Sanji-chan," Schuyler insisted. "You don't have to be in such a hurry. Why not wait a few more years? You're the best cook in the entire orphanage; I know the matron would love to keep you around for awhile longer."

Given the food in the orphanage sucked already, that wasn't really saying much.

"Easy for you to say. You're eleven; if you wanted to go out to sea, you wouldn't have to wait long."

"Maybe I do want to go to sea! I'm just being cautious! Knowing your horrible luck, you'll probably end up getting shipwrecked and starving to death on some God-forsaken rock in the middle of the ocean!"

"Schuyler, I want to be a chef!" Sanji declared angrily. "A good one! I can't do that if I'm stuck on this rinky-dink island! I want to get away from here!"

Schuyler sniffed and lowered her head, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Sanji felt a lead ball form in the center of his gut. He hadn't wanted her to start crying.

"Schuyler..."

"Have you ever hear story of Noland the Liar, Sanji-chan?" Schuyler interrupted, not looking up.

Sanji had. Every kid in the North Blue heard that story. It was supposed to warn them not to lie, or else they'd end up just like poor Montblanc Noland.

"He went on all sorts of adventures, and went to so many awesome places," she went on.

"But those were just lies."

"Maybe, but lies always originate from a partial truth. For all we know, maybe the kinds of places he supposedly visited really do exist." She looked up and gave Sanji a big grin, her tears disappearing. "Those places might really exist, and I want to be the one who finds them!"

Sanji stared at her, not sure where she was going with this.

Schuyler held out her hand. "I've decided! I'm letting you go first!"

Sanji raised one curly eyebrow. "Eh?"

"You can go out to sea first! In a few years, I'll leave and find all those cool places! Then the next time we meet, I can tell you all about them and you can tell me all about the life of a chef! Sound good?"

Sanji continued to stare at Schuyler's eager, enthusiastic face. After a moment or two, he broke into a grin himself and gripped her hand.

"You got a deal! And when we meet, I'll make you a meal so good you'll cry!" he declared.

Schuyler bopped him on the head.

"OW! What was that for?"

"I would never cry! Even if I ate the best meal ever!"

"Don't be stupid! Everyone knows girls cry all the time! You were crying just now!"

"Learn some respect for women, idiot!"

"OW! Stop hitting me!"

The argument fizzled out after another few minutes, and Sanji ran the rest of the way to the cruise ship. He was lucky; the ship was ready to leave, so he made it just in time. A ship worker offered to lead him to the galley, but he wanted to stay on deck and watch the ship set sail, if that was alright. It was, as long as he came down right after.

So Sanji found himself standing amongst the cruise guests, waving down to spectators seeing the people off. Confetti rained down on the ground, who cheered happily. Amidst all the celebration, Sanji looked down at the harbor to see Schuyler, standing there in her threadbare cardigan and dress, waving happily towards him.

"See you later, Sanji-chan!" she called out to him. "We'll meet again someday!"

Sanji waved back, smiling.

They would meet again. He just knew it.

* * *

_**11 Years Later...**_

"Ms. Behni, the new wanted posters are out!" one of the crew announced, opening the door to her private room.

She groaned, clearly suffering from the effects of a massive hangover. She raised her head from her desk. "And why should I care?"

"You asked the captain to give them to you if they came with a News Coo, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah. Just leave them on the bed."

The crewmate nodded, leafing through the posters before setting them down. "Man, have you heard about these Strawhat Pirates?"

"What about them?" Ms. Behni sighed, deciding to humor the man.

"They recently challenged the World Government at Enies Lobby, and destroyed the entire island!"

"Don't care. Get out of my room."

The crewmate flinched, then quickly made his exit.

Ms Behni stood up, walking over to her bed and then picked up the posters. She too leafed through them.

"Cotton Candy Lover Tony Tony Chopper, 50 berris; not even worth it. Cat Burglar Nami, 16 million berris; looks like a hussy to me. Sniper King, 30 million berris; a little better, but not quite high enough. Cyborg Franky, 44 million berris. Devil Child Nico Robin, 80 million berris. Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro, 120 million berris... hey, he's kind of cute! Black Leg Sanji, 77 million-"

She froze. Black Leg _Sanji_?

The poster's photo was horribly drawn, but she knew only one blonde with a curly eyebrow like that.

Ms. Behni set that poster aside, finally looking at the captain's poster. Straw Hat Monkey D. Luffy, 300 million berris. A regular Super rookie.

She sat down and leaned back in her desk chair, then held up Black Leg and Straw Hat's respective posters.

"I was getting a little bored anyway." She grinned. "I think it's time to visit an old friend."

* * *

**Warning you now, there will be no Sanji/OC pairing or Zoro/OC pairing any other Canon Character/OC pairing. I'm not into that kind of thing.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: In Which the Strawhats Arrive at a New Destination**

* * *

_**A Few Weeks Later, Aboard the Thousand Sunny**_

It was a calm, normal day aboard the pirate ship _Thousand Sunny_.

"Nami-_swaaaaan_! Robin-_chwaaaaan_! I made these delicious fruit drinks and snacks especially for_ yooooooo_u!"

Yes, even the cook's shrill declarations of swans and chwans were considered 'normal.'

Having left Thriller Bark recently, the Strawhat Pirates were settling back into their daily routines after getting through what occurred there. At the moment, Nami was pouring over some maps on the deck table, while Robin sat across from her, reading one of her books. Franky was below deck, tinkering with whatever invention he had decided to build (he was feeling especially industrious this week). Zoro was up in the crow's nest, training with his ridiculously heavy weights even though he was _supposed_ to be resting and recovering from the extensive injuries he received on Thriller Bark. The newest crewmate, Brook, was sitting against the mast, tuning his violin and occasionally playing a note to see if it was right yet.

Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy were currently sneaking up behind Sanji, hoping to steal the delicious fruit drinks and snacks they knew the blonde cook would never let them have even if they asked.

"Thank you, Sanji," Robin said, closing her book. Ever since the events of Enies Lobby, Robin had taken to calling the crew by their names. "You didn't have to go through the trouble."

Sanji twirled happily, his visible eye morphing into a bright red heart. "Oh, it was no trouble at all, Robin my dear! You know I'd do anything for you and Nami!"

He set the tray on the table and turned to leave, still smiling like a giddy idiot.

"Uh, Sanji?" Nami piped up.

"Yes, Nami my love?"

"This tray is empty."

Sanji whirled back around, staring in shock at the empty tray.

"Thought it felt a little light," he muttered. He turned and shouted, "_Luffy_! When I find you, you're a dead man!"

"My my, Sanji-san!" Brook spoke up. "You looked as if your eyes were going to pop out of your head. To be fair, it it were me, I would probably do the same." He paused. "Ah! Even though I don't have any eyes! Yohohoho!"

Sanji rolled his eyes, lit up a cigarette, and grumbled, "Whose brilliant idea was it to let the skeleton on the ship?"

"There's no deterring Luffy once he's made up his mind," Nami sighed, folding up her map. "His jokes are annoying but honestly, Brook's not _that_ bad."

"Oh, Nami-san! May I please see your-"

"NEVER, YOU PERV!"

_Whack_!

"Nami-swan is so beautiful when she's beating people senseless with her map compass!"

Robin just chuckled.

Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper had the good sense to hide behind Nami's tangerine trees. They didn't want to be on the receiving end of Nami's compass on top of Sanji's wrath. They just continued to quietly sip their drinks and eat their snacks.

"Oi, Nami!" Zoro called down, poking his head through the hatch in the crow's nest.

"What is it, Zoro?" she called back.

"I can see an island dead ahead!"

"What? There shouldn't be any islands around here!"

"Tell that to the _island _dead ahead of us!" Zoro argued as he began to climb down the ladder to the deck.

Usopp, overhearing the banter, jogged to the front of the ship and pulled a telescope out of his bag. After a moment of looking, he shouted, "Zoro's right, Nami! I can see an island up ahead!"

Before Usopp even had time to blink, Nami was next to him and snatching the telescope right out of his hands.

"There's no way," Nami said through grit teeth as she peered through the telescope. But sure enough, she caught sight of a large island several miles in front of them. She glanced down at the log pose. "That's impossible. How can there be an island we didn't know about? The log pose isn't even pointing at it!"

"It could be a man-made structure," Robin offered. "If that were the case, then it wouldn't have a magnetic field for the log pose to lock on to."

"ISLAND!" Luffy announced suddenly, leaping from Nami's trees and stretching over to the Sunny's figurehead. 'Finally, an island! Let's go!"

"Luffy, wait a second!" Nami said. "We can't just go to some island in the middle of nowhere. It doesn't show up on the log pose or on the map of the surrounding area!"

"... So it's a mystery island?"

"For once, the answer is yes. We have to approach this cautiously. We don't know what's on that island."

"It's a resort," Usopp interrupted.

Nami whipped around to glare at him. "And just how would you know that?"

Usopp pointed down at the water below. Bobbing in the water was a large buoy, with a sign on it stating "This Way to the Pearly Conch Resort and Spa!" An arrow on the sign was pointing directly at the mystery island.

Nami's wrath deflated. "Oh. What the heck is the Pearly Conch Resort and Spa?"

"Did you say the Pearly Conch Resort and Spa?" Brook asked, standing up. "I've heard of that place!"

"You have?"

"Oh yes! Fifty years ago, it was famous for being such a thriving business on the Grand Line! I had no idea it would still be in operation after all this time. The idea of going to such a famous location makes my heart race, though I have no heart to speak of!"

"Do you know why it doesn't show up on the log pose?" Nami asked.

"Not really, no," Brook admitted. "But I heard this place is supposed to be wonderful, if it's anything like it was fifty years ago. Spas, beaches, world-renowned food, casinos, stores..."

"Did you say food?" Luffy said excitedly. "World-renowned food? Then its really good, right?"

"Usually, Luffy-san."

Luffy turned to his navigator seriously. "Nami, set course for that island. I want world-renowned food."

"Do you even know what that means?" When Luffy gave her a pouty lip, Nami laughed. "I'm just kidding, Luffy. If this place is really that good, I want check it out."

"You just want to shop and go to the casinos," Usopp pointed out.

"Nami can do whatever she wants, Longnose!" Sanji barked. "And don't think for a second I've forgotten about you stealing the girls' snacks!"

Sanji also like the idea of going to the island. If it had beaches, beaches meant girls. And where there were beaches and girls, there were beaches and girls and girls in swimsuits.

"Usopp's wrong, Sanji," Nami sniffed. "It's not just the stores and casinos. I want to go to the spa too."

"I wonder if they have any book stores..." Robin wondered aloud.

"I want to go!" Chopper added, finally leaving the sanctuary of Nami's trees and joining the crew on the main deck. "I want to try world-renowned food!"

"Okay!" Luffy shouted. "It's decided! We're going to the mystery island!"

The crew cheered, save for Robin and the ship's resident swordsman.

"Hold on guys, don't get too excited," Zoro said, interrupting the cheering. "I don't think this is a good idea. Remember the last time we visited a resort in the middle of the ocean?"

"Oh please, Zoro," Nami sighed. "Like any of us were really expecting Foxy and his cronies to show up. It'll be fine this time around."

"You don't know that. And I don't know about you, but for some reason the idea of going to some mystery island supposedly housing a resort with beaches, spas, and great food gives me a bad feeling."

Luffy flinched slightly at that, but nobody noticed or called him out on it.

"You just hate fun, mosshead," Sanji said.

"You just want to stare at scantily-clad girls, love cook," Zoro retorted.

"You want a piece of me, sword-freak?!"

"Bring it on, dartboard!"

Thus began yet another one of the duo's fights, black dress shoes meeting gleaming swords in lightning-fast clashes. Chopper immediately went into Heavy Point and tried to break up the fight, exclaiming that Zoro shouldn't be straining himself.

"Someone go below deck and tell Franky about our new destination!" Nami exclaimed, ignoring the fight behind her.

"Set the sails!" Luffy yelled happily. "We're going to the mystery island!"

* * *

The Lucky Penny was possibly the seediest bar on the entire island, having been around since the island's resort's opening fifty five years ago. Despite the less-than-stellar service, the bar was a usual hang out for every cutthroat, criminal, and pirate that arrived on the island. And it was also the location of an important meeting that was going to take place... or _would_ take place, if the person who called the meeting was ever going to _show up_.

"This figures-ja," sighed one of the meeting's participants. "Behni's the one who calls us here, and she has the audacity to be late-ja."

"Relax, Bequel," another participant, a lady, scolded. "This is Behni we're talking about. 500 berris says she probably just got a little lost."

"That's funny, I thought she was a navigator," the third member of the party said.

"On the sea, yeah. But on land she has all the navigational skills of a box of crayons. Probably even _less_ than a box crayons. At least crayons know where to find a piece of paper."

The men had to agree with her on that.

"Oi!" a voice called out. Behni sat down on the table. "Bequel, Saffron, Kable. Sorry I'm late, I got a little lost."

Saffron held out her hand. "Pay up."

Bequel and Kable begrudgingly forked over their money.

"Now, I know you're all wondering why I called you here," Behni went on.

"Let me guess," Kable said, leaning back. "You're going after a big score, and you finally admit you need help."

"I thought you already were after someone-ja," Bequel pointed out. "What pirate ship has the honor of having you on its crew this month, Ms. Behni-ja?"

"I'll deal with it later, don't worry," Behni sighed. "I have everything planned out. And must you end all your sentences with 'ja?'"

"Does it bother you-ja?"

"Yes."

"Then I must-ja."

Behni stood up and reached over to strangle Bequel, but Saffron held her back.

"That's enough!" Saffron said. "While I'd bet you 1000 berris Behni here will find some way to kill Bequel later, we have a meeting to continue."

"Yeah, I want know who we're killing!" Kable added chipperly.

"Don't say that so chipperly-ja!" Bequel shouted, whacking Kable upside the head.

"You're not killing anyone, Kable!" Behni said. "We leave_ that_ part to me and- to a lesser extent- the World Government. You know how they love their executions."

Behni reached into her satchel and removed several wanted posters. One in particular, she pinned to the table with a knife.

"Monkey D. Luffy, huh?" Saffron read off the poster. She did a double take."Wait a minute, isn't that the psycho who took out Sir Crocodile?"

"I thought that was Commodore Smoker," Kable said.

"I have a cousin who lives in Alabasta, and he says it was this Luffy kid."

"Well, I heard Strawhat's crew challenged the World Government at Enies Lobby-ja," Bequel added. "And then they-"

"- Blew up the whole island, I know," Behni interrupted. "In case you haven't figured it out, I want to take on Strawhat and his crew. You guys in?"

"I'm surprised, Behni," Kable said happily."One would think you would do your usual routine with this crew. I don't blame you for not wanting to. I mean, look at this Luffy guy's picture! He's clearly a maniac!"

Behni bopped him on the head. "Don't say that like you're happy about it, idiot! For the record, I don't _need_ to do my usual routine to get close to Strawhat."

"Then what _are_ you going to do?"

She stuck her tongue out at him. "That's for me to know and you to figure out."

"What are you, five?" Saffron scoffed.

"SHUT UP!" Behni hollered. The other three made the good decision of obliging.

It was around this time a bar waitress finally came to their table with tankards of rum for them.

Behni held up her alcohol. "What do you say? You guys want in? I can promise a cut of the take if you do."

"It's sounds like a safe bet. I'm in," Saffron agreed, holding up her tankard.

"As long as somebody gets disemboweled!" Kable added, also holding up his rum. This time, no one yelled at him for saying something like that so happily.

"I have nothing on my plate, so I guess you can count me in too-ja," said Bequel, lifting his tankard up to join the others.

"Then we're in agreement!" Behni concluded. "On three, okay? One, two, three!"

Tankards knocked against each other.

"CHEERS!"

* * *

The Sunny arrived at the 'mystery island' in a good amount of time; it had taken only half an hour to get there from where they had spotted the buoy. Once in the island's harbor, they discovered there was actually a_ line_ of ships, all waiting to be allowed to port. There had been a worry that they wouldn't be let in, due to being pirates; but the worry vanished after a resort employee in a speedboat arrived and directed the Sunny to what was called the "Pirates-Only" ship line, all the way on the other end of the island. The line there was much shorter, so it took only an hour of waiting before they were finally able to dock.

"Welcome to The Pearly Conch Resort and Spa!" a perky resort employee called up to the crew from the dock. "Are you here for pleasure or business?"

"Uh, pleasure, I guess!" Nami called back down from the railing.

"That's fine ma'am. If that's the case, will you be staying on your ship or would you like to check into our 5-star hotel?"

"Depends, is it expensive?"

"It's actually not too bad compared to other hotels. Here, you can decide on a price depending on your financial state of being. If you come with me, we can barter a price with the manager."

"Sounds great, be right down!"

Luffy jumped on to the railing. "Come on, let's go find the food!"

"Hold it!"

Luffy was yanked back down, courtesy of Nami.

"Okay, listen up!" Nami commanded the rest of the crew, who were lined up before her. "Sanji and I are going to go and barter out a price for our hotel rooms. The rest of you can go out to look around, but only if you promise to stay out of trouble, alright?"

"I'll follow you anywhere, Nami!" Sanji swooned.

"If that's the case, I'm heading to the beach!" Franky said. "The water looks SUPER today!"

"I want to find world-renowned meat!" Luffy demanded.

"I'll go with Luffy!" Chopper added.

"If it's all the same to you, I'll stay here and guard the ship for now," Zoro yawned.

"I'm going to go look for a book store," Robin decided.

"I'll heard some music playing as we docked," Brook said. "I think I'll go find the source."

"I'll go with Luffy and Chopper!" Usopp declared enthusiastically.

"Fine Usopp, only if you keep them from burning the island down, okay?" Nami said.

Usopp looked less enthusiastic.

"We all know what we're doing?" Everyone nodded. "Good. Now, _break_!"

On Nami's call, everyone split up to go do their respective activities of choice, meaning everyone but Zoro climbed down the ladder and off the ship. Luffy almost immediately grabbed Usopp and Chopper by their arms and went tearing off in a random direction. Everyone else went their separate ways.

"Excuse me, did this young woman say your name was Sanji?" the resort employee asked Sanji.

Sanji looked at the employee in mild surprise. "Um, yeah, my name is Sanji. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No sir. It's just someone left a message at the front desk with instructions to give it to a man named Sanji when he arrived."

"How can you be sure I'm the right Sanji?"

"They left your physical description. A blonde man with a oddly curly eyebrow, and that he would be arriving on a pirate ship."

"Oh, okay then. What did the message say?"

The employee flipped through his clipboard. "Let's see... ah, here it is. The message says 'Nice to see you didn't end up starving to death on some God-forsaken rock in the middle of the ocean. Let's meet up for an early dinner at the Main Street Cafe and you can finally tell me all about being a chef! Does 5:00 sound good to you? See you there.' End message."

Sanji's eyes widened. Who was this person, and how the heck did they know about _that_?

"Who left the message?" Sanji asked, removing his cigarette and blowing out some smoke. He somehow managed to keep a calm tone.

"Sanji, are you alright?" Nami asked.

Sanji gave her a smile. "I'm fine. It's nothing Nami-swan has to worry about."

Nami frowned, but didn't push it.

The employee flipped through his clipboard again, and shook his head. "I'm sorry sir, it seems this person neglected to leave their name."

"That's alright," Sanji waved off the concern. "All I have to do is show up at five and I'll find out who it is."

"If you say so," the employee shrugged. "Now if you'll come with me, I'll take you to our front desk."

The employee turned and led the two pirates off the dock, and in the direction of the resort's main hotel. The whole walk there, Sanji's mind raced. How did the leaver of the message know he almost starved to death on that rock? And they mentioned him talking about being a chef... why did that sound familiar?

_Then the next time we meet, I can tell you all about them and you can tell me all about the life of a chef! Sound good?_

Sanji nearly bit his cigarette in half. No way. Could it possibly-

"Sanji, are you sure you're feeling okay? You looked really pale just now," Nami asked worriedly.

The thought vanished from Sanji's mind. He twirled around in 'mellorine mode.' "Nami-swan, how kind your heart must be to care about my well-being! Does this mean you finally love me?"

Nami rolled her eyes and pushed the lovesick cook's face away with her palm. "Ugh, forget I asked. You're obviously perfectly fine. Let's just get to the front desk and acquire the crew's rooms."

"Can I get a private one with you and Robin, Nami?"

"_Sanji!_"

"Ow, ow, ow! Nami, I need that ear to hear with!"

"You clearly don't, since you seem to only hear every other word!"

The resort employee, who had heard the entire conversation, sighed. Why did he always get saddled with the weird ones?


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. Oda-sensei does. I only own my OCs.**

* * *

_"We all know what we're doing?" Everyone nodded. "Good. Now, break!"_

_On Nami's call, everyone split up to go do their respective activities of choice, meaning everyone but Zoro climbed down the ladder and off the ship. Luffy almost immediately grabbed Usopp and Chopper by their arms and went tearing off in a random direction..._

* * *

**Chapter 2: In Which Luffy Gives (Or Receives, Depending On How You Look At It) a Challenge, and Nami Realizes Her Mistake**

* * *

Luffy, as we all know, wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. So of course it didn't occur to him that when he went rushing off to find the world-renowned food, that he should actually stop and try to find out where this food would be located. That left to him to wander around the resort, dragging Usopp and Chopper- quite literally- behind him since he refused to stop running.

The Pearly Conch Resort and Spa, in reality, was more like a medium-sized town than a single building and beach. It had a restaurant district, a water park, an artificial hot spring and spa, as well as a shopping district. From the pirate docks, unless you knew where you were going, the first place you usually ended up was the shopping district. And that was exactly where Luffy and his two comrades found themselves.

"Clothes stores, shoe store, clothes _and_ shoe store," Luffy rattled off as he ran by these places. "Swimsuit store, another shoe store, a ladies underwear store- hey, I should tell Brook about that place..."

"Luffy! Could you-"_ bump_, "-stop running-"_ bump,_ "for just a minute?!" Usopp shouted at his captain.

"Dress store, dress store, _another_ shoe store..." Luffy groaned. "Come on! Where's all that world-renowned food I've been hearing so much about?

"Why are there-" _bump,_ "-so many-" _bump,_ "-bumps in the road?!" Chopper shouted at no one in particular. Valid question, though.

Luffy finally registered his crewmates' complaints and skidded to a stop, which in turned caused Usopp and Chopper to go flying forward according to the laws of inertia. Luckily, they landed in a fountain.

Usopp sat up, spitting out water. "Why is it that guy can keep a grip on a barrel of water while running through a desert, but can't keep a grip on his friends when he comes to a sudden stop?"

If Chopper had a reply, he was too busy drowning in the seawater fountain. Usopp quickly noticed this and tossed him out in time.

"Hey, why are you guys swimming?" Luffy called over to them. "You're supposed to be helping me find the food!"

"You're the one who threw us in here, jerk!" Usopp gnashed his teeth, slapping the air.

"Yeah, jerk!" Chopper echoed, coughing up water on the cobblestone street.

Luffy laughed, and turned away. He lifted the brim of his hat, getting a better look at his surroundings. There was still nothing but people shopping and clothing shops are far as the eye could see. This was starting to frustrate him. Brook and Nami said there would be good food on this island so why couldn't he find any?

"Luffy, you've barely been looking for twenty minutes," Usopp said as if reading his mind, carrying Chopper over to their captain. "Let's just stop and ask someone for directions."

"Maybe Nami's around here," Chopper suggested. "She might've finished booking our rooms and came here to do a little shopping. We should keep an eye out for her."

That sound like a pretty good idea, actually. Luffy looked around in all directions, until he caught sight of either Nami or someone who looked like they knew where they were going. His line of sight finally fell on a lady about 20 feet in front of them. Though a bit far off, he could see her tearing meat off a bone in her hand with her teeth.

"Hey, you there with the meat!" Luffy called out.

The woman stopped walking and turned to look at him. She pointed to herself, inquiring if she was the one Luffy was talking to. Luffy grinned and ran over to meet her, followed closely by Usopp and Chopper.

"Can I help you?" the lady asked once the pirates reached her.

The woman appeared to be in her early 20s, with wavy black hair pulled into a ponytail except for some tendrils around her face. Speaking of her face, she was really pretty, and her cheeks had splash of freckles not unlike Luffy's brother. She was wearing a dark red leather jacket, a blue Criminal-brand t-shirt, cargo pants, brown gloves, and boots that looked like Marine surplus. Her eyes were hidden behind a pair of a gold-tinted aviator sunglasses, and she carried a large duffle bag over her shoulder.

Luffy pointed to the meat in the woman's hand. "Lady, can you tell where you got that meat?!"

The lady took another bite of said meat. "Dependsh, are you guysh undercover copsh?"

Her words were slightly slurred due to the food in her mouth, but the boys managed to understand her.

"Miss, do we look like cops to you?" Usopp deadpanned.

"Undercover copsh neva look like undercover copsh," the woman retorted, swallowing. "Hmm. Then again, I guess if you were undercover cops, you wouldn't tell me anyway."

"We're not undercover cops," Chopper said. "We're just trying to find the restaurants around here."

"Join the club," the lady said, puffing her her cheeks. "I've been walking around here for three days and I'm _still_ stuck in the shopping district! If I didn't steal this meat from some shopper, I would have starved by- hey, cut that out!"

Luffy had been trying to steal the woman's meat while she was talking to Usopp and Chopper. She immediately held it out at arm's length, pushing Luffy's head away. This didn't deter Luffy in the least, and he just went right on trying to snatch it.

"You mean you've been lost in the same area for three whole days, and that meat is the only food you've eaten?!" Chopper exclaimed.

"I don't think even Zoro could get that lost," Usopp said to himself n awe.

Scratch that. He was talking about a guy who once got lost in a straight hallway. Give Zoro enough time, he could and_ would_ get lost for three days straight in the same area.

At the moment though, Usopp and Chopper's statements were largely ignored. Luffy kept making grabs for the meat, and each time the woman moved it out of his way. Luffy reached over her head, and she grabbed his head and shoved him back down. He even went as far as trying to climb up her, but the woman pushed him back with her foot. Luffy, though, didn't lose his grip so now the lady's foot was stuck where it was.

"Come on, just a little bite?" Luffy whined, grasping desperately at the meat.

"Get your own! Do you have any idea what I had to go through to get this?" she snapped back.

Luffy finally let go and stumbled back a few steps, but didn't fall over. "Don't be stingy; share, lady!"

"Forget it!" the lady barked. She jerked her thumb towards herself. "Do I look like some kind of hero to you? I don't share my meat, I eat it all my myself!"

_That's why she's not sharing it?!_ Chopper and Usopp thought. _Why kind of logic is that?!_

"Just one bite!" the young captain insisted.

"This is the only food I've had in three days! I'm not giving it up!" the young woman replied.

Luffy made another grab for the meat, and this time the lady scowled and calmly flicked Luffy on the forehead. Being a rubberman, that shouldn't have done anything to Luffy in the least, but as soon as she flicked him, he fell to the ground and held his forehead in agony.

"OOOOOW!" he wailed. "Why did that hurt so much!"

"She... she hurt Luffy just by flicking him!" Chopper gasped in amazement.

"Nicely done lady, but such pathetic tactics won't work on the Great Master Usopp!" Usopp declared, his legs shaking terribly. "I'll warn you, if you try to flick me like that, my army of 80 million pirate warriors will avenge me!"

The lady stared at him for a moment, before stars of awe shined through her sunglasses.

"80 million pirate warriors?!" the woman gasped. "That's _amazing_! You really command that many men?! That's so cool!"

Usopp sweatdropped. She seriously believed that? That wasn't even a remotely believable lie, even for something he came up with off the top of his head. Looked like she right up there with Luffy, Chopper, and that weird hypnotist guy in terms of gullibility.

"Usopp, you liar!" Chopper said. "I think I would've noticed 80 million pirate warriors on the Sunny."

Okay, maybe Chopper _wasn't_ so gullible.

"What, he was _lying_?" the woman asked incredulously. She glared at Usopp. "Jerk!"

"It's not like I _made_ you believe me," Usopp huffed.

"HEY MEAT LADY!"

Oh yeah, Luffy had been on the ground writhing in pain. He must have finished. Usopp, Chopper, and the lady glanced at him.

"LADY, DO YOU WANNA FIGHT?" Luffy hollered, raising his fist.

"Fight about _what_?" the woman asked.

"Let's fight!" Luffy repeated. "The winner gets that meat!"

"Luffy, you can't go starting a fight over a scrap of meat!" Chopper scolded him. He turned to the lady. "I'm sorry miss, our captain-"

"If you want this meat, you're gonna have to catch me first!" the woman shouted, immediately turning on her heel and running in the direction opposite of the pirates.

"EH?!" Usopp and Chopper gasped.

"BRING IT ON, MEAT LADY!" Luffy hollered after her.

"MY NAME'S NOT MEAT LADY!" the woman stopped and hollered back. "IT'S SCHUYLER!"

"MY NAME'S MONKEY D. LUFFY! NICE TO MEET YOU, EVEN THOUGH I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

"LIKEWISE!"

Usopp and Chopper's jaws dropped. They were really going to do this. Those two were actually going to do battle over a piece of_ meat._

Luffy smiled and cracked his knuckles. "That meat is _mine_."

The woman, Schuyler, grinned and laughed. "Nahahaha! I think you're going to be a lot of fun, Monkey D. Luffy!" She pushed her sunglasses on to her forehead, revealing her almond-shaped, glittering green eyes. "Now, are you going to catch me or just stand there all day?!"

With that challenge, she took off running, waving the leg of meat in the air like a flag.

"MEEEEEAAAAT!" Luffy shouted, taking off after Schuyler. There was no way he was going to lose a challenge involving _meat_.

Meanwhile, Usopp and Chopper were left staring at the spot where their captain had previously been standing.

"Oh no, we got to stop them!" Chopper shouted in a panicky voice. "That woman hasn't eaten properly in three days; she can't be running around and fighting!"

"Are you kidding me?" Usopp argued. "Do you really want to get between a fight_ Luffy's_ involved in? That's suicide! I already know _he's_ a monster, so I don't even want to think what that woman can do! You saw how she just flicked him like that!"

"Yeah, I get that. But also, didn't Nami give you the job of making sure Luffy didn't burn the island down?"

Usopp froze.

_Fine Usopp, only if you keep them from burning down the island, okay_?

He had completely forgotten about that! Not twenty five minutes into his duty, and he was already failing at it! Even if Luffy didn't end up burning the down the island in his fight, he'd at least create maximum property damage and get the crew either thrown out of the resort or turned in to the Marines. And if that happened, Nami would...

"In that case, follow me young Chopper!" Usopp declared. "It is our sworn duty to protect this resort from Luffy's recklessness as the brave warriors we are!"

This speech may been more impressive if Usopp hadn't been sweating like a pig while saying it, but it was enough for Chopper.

"Yeah, let's do it!" Chopper cheered.

Usopp lowered his goggles, Chopper changed into Walk Point, and both pirates went charging after their captain.

* * *

The Pearly Conch Resort and Spa, while like a medium-sized town, did have a central building where all guests could either check in to spend a few nights, or just sign up for the day to enjoy all the activities available there. Nami and Sanji were there for the former option. The dock employee led them to building's front desk, and now they were negotiating a deal on the price of their lodgings.

"If you don't want to pay for several individual rooms, we also offer a wide array of seaside bungalows," the desk employee, a pretty young woman, said. "Each bungalow holds a maximum of 10 people."

"I don't know," Nami mused, running the figures through her head. "How much do they cost?"

"We'll be willing to pay any price you ask for, mademoiselle!" Sanji cooed. "Just ask!"

Nami stomped on his foot and he stopped making offers.

"Like the rooms, the bungalows prices are negotiable," the desk lady replied. "But there is a minimum price of 200 thousand berris for the bungalows."

"200 thousand berris!" Nami shrieked. "That's practically robbery! I will pay no more than _twenty_ thousand berris for the bungalow!"

"I'm sorry ma'am, it's at 200 thousand or no deal."

"20 thousand!"

"200 thousand."

"20 thousand!"

"200 thousand."

"20 thousand, or we'll take our business elsewhere!"

"Go ahead. This place is pretty popular, so losing one customer won't hurt our business in the least."

Nami stood rigid, and Sanji gaped in shock. Someone had actually just out-bartered _Nami_.

"I get people like you in here everyday," the desk lady explained with a smirk. "I'm immune to pushy barterers."

Nami looked ready to pull out her Clima-Tact, and show this woman just how _pushy_ she could be. Sanji placed his hands on her shoulders, holding her back some.

"Uh, mademoiselle," Sanji said gently, as Nami was still fuming. "Perhaps we can get you to lower the price to at least 150 thousand berris? For the sake of our crew's navigator's sanity at least. A smart, beautiful lady such as yourself can manage that, can't you?"

The desk worker blushed. No one had ever said something so nice to her before. "Um, well, I guess maybe I _could_... you know, for a nice guy like you."

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

"Wait here, and I'll get the keys to your bungalow."

The desk lady, still blushing like a school girl, walked briskly into the front desk's backroom to retrieve the keys. Once she was gone, Nami relaxed and gave Sanji a rueful look.

"I suppose I should be thanking you," Nami sighed.

Sanji smiled. "No thanks is needed, Nami my dear. Getting her to lower the price was my pleasure!"

"Thanks anyway."

"No problem!"

"... Sanji?"

"Yes, Nami my sweet?"

"You can take your hands off my shoulders now."

Sanji quickly removed his hands. No need to get Nami angry again when she had just calmed down.

The desk lady soon returned with the keys, and Nami begrudgingly shelled out the berris needed to pay for their bungalow. The two pirates were informed they would be staying in Bungalow 17, located next to the north beach on the island, which was coincidentally located right next to the water park. She told them she hoped they enjoyed their stay.

"Oh hey can you tell me something?" Nami asked as she signed for the bungalow.

"What is it, ma'am?"

"Can you tell me why our log pose didn't point to this place?"

The desk lady's eyes widened. "You mean you didn't have an eternal pose leading to the resort? How in the four blues did you find this place then?"

"Our crew's moss-headed swordsman spotted it from the crow's nest," Sanji answered. "And our musician told us this place was pretty popular fifty years ago, so we decided to check it out."

"Well, you were lucky then. You see, this resort was built on top of a giant meteorite that feel into the Grand Line a hundred years ago."

"A meteorite?" Nami repeated. "It must have pretty big if it can house an entire resort!"

The desk lady laughed. "Well, I personally wasn't born yet when it fell. Anyway, 40 years later, the resort's founder came across the meteorite during a sea voyage, and decided to build his resort here. It took five years of hard work, but he was able to get this place to be a functioning town and island resort. As for why your log pose doesn't point to the island, the magnetic field it gives off is so weak, a log pose can't lock on to it. You need one of the resort's special eternal poses to get here. We offer them outside of the island's boundaries in catalogs."

Nami nodded. She supposed that made sense. It was kind of similar to Mecha Island, only a resort on a giant meteorite was _way_ less bizarre than a town on the back of a giant sea turtle.

"Thanks for telling me," Nami said. "I thought maybe the log pose was broken or something."

"Don't mention it," the desk lady said a smile. "Is there anything else you'd like to know?"

"Actually, yes there is," Sanji spoke up. "My name is Sanji. Someone left a message here for me. Do you know who it was?"

Nami remembered when the dock employee gave them the message. Sanji had gone so_ pale _afterwards. Just who did he think left the message?

"Sanji, huh?" The desk lady thought for a second. "Yes, I remember. A young lady left the message, but I don't really remember what she looked like. She never even gave me her name. But that was three days ago, and I haven't seen her since. Chances are she's probably already left."

Sanji frowned slightly. "Oh, alright then. Thanks anyway."

"It's no problem sir. I'm sorry I couldn't be more help."

Nami didn't like the look on Sanji's face, but didn't question. If he felt the person who left the message was important enough to not even share with_ her_, she wasn't going to delve into it.

"Let's try to find the others, Sanji," she said. "We need to tell them where we're staying."

"Of course, Nami," Sanji agreed. "Let's go."

As Sanji and Nami turned to leave, the desk lady called out to them. "Hold on! You guys are pirates, right?"

"Yeah, we are," Sanji replied. "Is that going to be a problem?"

She shook her head. "No, it's not. We get pirates all the time around here. I'm just warning you, try not to cause any trouble here. It wouldn't be good for you."

"Oh?" Nami raised an eyebrow. "And why's that?"

"This place is really close to Marine Headquarters. If you cause a commotion and the Marines hear pirates were involved, they'll be here so quick your heads will spin."

Nami nodded. "Thanks for the warning. I'm sure our crew knows better than to cause unnecessary-"

Nami stopped, a look of horrified realization on her face.

"Nami? What's wrong?" Sanji asked. She looked like she was about to be sick.

"Sanji..." Nami said slowly. "... Where's Luffy?"

Sanji wracked his brain. "Luffy? I think the crappy rubberhead went off with Usopp and Chopper to look for food..." He trailed off. "... Oh."

Both their faces became alarmed.

"Sanji, did I seriously let_ Luffy_ go off on his own with only _Usopp_ and _Chopper _to keep him out of trouble?"

"I think you did, Nami."

The chef and the navigator looked at each other for a brief moment, then immediately went barreling out of the hotel so fast, only dust in the shape of their silhouettes were left behind. Papers went flying from the sudden burst of wind, and even a chair or two fell over.

The desk lady blinked, then sighed at the mess the lobby was now. "Okay then. Enjoy your stay."

* * *

Outside, Nami and Sanji ran through the cobblestone streets.

"THAT MORON!" they shouted. "WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!"

The moved forward, only hoping they would find Luffy before he did something monumentally stupid.

Unfortunately, they had no idea the strawhat-wearing idiot had already done so.


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not One Piece, only my respective OCs.**

**I've been thinking about who'd I get to play Schuyler, if she were actually be animated. Her younger self would probably voice by Luci Christian or somebody else with a young-sounding voice. As for her usual 21-year-old self, I'd have to say Parisa Fakhri, the English voice of Arisa Uotani in Fruits Basket.**

* * *

_"BRING IT ON, MEAT LADY!" Luffy hollered after her._

_"MY NAME'S NOT MEAT LADY!" the woman stopped and hollered back. "IT'S SCHUYLER!"_

_"MY NAME'S MONKEY D. LUFFY! NICE TO MEET YOU, EVEN THOUGH I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"_

_"LIKEWISE!"_

_Usopp and Chopper's jaws dropped. They were really going to do this. Those two were actually going to do battle over a piece of _meat_._

_Luffy smiled and cracked his knuckles. "That meat is mine."_

_The woman, Schuyler, grinned and laughed. "Nahahaha! I think you're going to be a lot of fun, Monkey D. Luffy!" She pushed her sunglasses on to her forehead, revealing her almond-shaped, glittering green eyes. "Now, are you going to catch me or just stand there all day?!"_

_With that challenge, she took off running, waving the leg of meat in the air like a flag..._

* * *

**Chapter 3: In Which the Author is Lazy and Cuts the Chapter a Little Bit Short, But at Least You Get Some Laughs From It (Oh, and We See What Zoro is Doing)**

* * *

If you asked someone what they thought about a battle for a scrap of meat, they would tell you exactly what they thought.

It was stupid.

It was reckless.

Did Luffy care?

Of course he didn't.

All he knew right now was that he was hungry, that lady had meat he wanted, and she had openly challenged him by telling him to come chase her. Of course, you may be thinking, "Doesn't Luffy stay away from pointless fights?" After all, he didn't fight Bellamy back in Jaya, right?

Well, keep in mind several facts:

1.) Technically speaking, he challenged her first.

2.) Bellamy, back then, had slammed Luffy's face through a bar counter, called him a weakling, and insulted the dreams of pirates.

3.) Schuyler, on the other hand, had refused to share her food with him.

Completely different situations call for completely different reactions, as you all know. By Luffy's logic (and heaven knows we're not going to try and understand_ that_), this fight was completely justifiable. Meat was involved, after all.

Which brings us to how Luffy was currently barreling through the streets of the resort's shopping district, chasing Schuyler in a last-ditch effort to finally get some 'world renowned food' seeing as he _clearly_ wasn't going to find the restaurant district any time soon.

In retrospect, he could have just asked someone else for directions.

But let's be serious here. This is Luffy we're talking about. He _never_ thinks in retrospect.

* * *

Schuyler was ahead of Luffy by a good twenty or so feet, and barely breaking a sweat. To the casual observer, it appeared that she must have been in situations like this before, because she expertly jumped over obstacles and moved things behind her to block Luffy's path. Vendor's stands, flower boxes, even people occasionally. The entire time, she never even lost hold of her dufflebag, and kept a tight grip on the leg of meat in her hand. She had just as much to gain or lose from this challenge as Luffy did, so she wasn't giving up anytime soon.

_We've been running for awhile now_, Schuyler thought as she cleared a hedge. _Wonder if he's given up yet_.

She glanced over her shoulder, lifting her sunglasses slightly from her eyes.

"GEEEEEEET BAAAAAAACK HEEEEEEERRRRRE!" Luffy roared, arms pumping up and down as he plowed through everything that got in his way. All of her roadblocks were useless.

If there was one thing true about Luffy, it was that he was relentless in the pursuit of his goals. It was what made going after the One Piece come so naturally to him. Of course, going after a piece of meat was not the same as going after the One Piece, but he would be relentless nonetheless.

_He's STILL at it?!_ she thought, her eyes nearly bugging out. She lowered her shades back down and looked ahead. _Looks like it's time for a change in tactics_.

Schuyler made a sudden turn to the left down an alley.

"An object in motion _stays_ in motion!" she called out happily.

True to her words, Luffy was going at too fast a speed to make such a sudden turn like she did. Instead, he shot right past the alley and was about to collide with a lamp post.

_This is going to be hysterical_, Schuyler snickered to herself. _I bet his face will leave an imprint on the post_.

That might have happened, if Luffy hadn't seen this end coming as well. Pushing his footing a little bit to the right, Luffy was able to alter his course so that he ran past the lamp post instead of into it. However, as he ran past it, he gripped the post with his right hand.

Remember when Luffy fought the Alvida Pirates?

"Gum Gum..."

_WHAT THE HELL?!_ This time, Schuyler's eyes were bugging out of their sockets. _HIS ARM'S-?!_

Luffy let go of the post.

"_ROCKET!_"

Instead of doing the smart thing and ducking back into the alley, Schuyler just stood there gaping in shock, letting Luffy rocket right into her stomach. The two went tumbling right through a stone wall and into an empty lot behind one of the buildings. It was probably the sight for a future store, but that's not really important right now. Luffy and Schuyler finally came to a stop when they slammed into a chain fence.

"Dang it," Luffy grunted, standing up and brushing rubble off his body. "That was a really sloppy landing. Hey Meat Lady, are you still alive?"

Schuyler was lying flat on her back, her eyes now dazed swirls. Her sunglasses had shattered from the impact.

It was also around this time that Usopp and Chopper were able to catch up.

"Luffy!" Usopp shouted, climbing through the hole in the wall. "Nami said not to destroy the resort! Do you want to get thrown off the island?!"

Luffy crossed his arms. "Nami said not to burn down the island. I don't see anything on fire."

"The idea is not to cause property damage, you idiot!"

"But if nothing's burning, then what's the problem?"

"Fire is not the only thing that destroys property, Luffy! Big rubber idiots, for example, are pretty good at it too!"

Chopper morphed back into Brain Point while this argument was occurring and rushed over to Schuyler's side.

"Oh no, she's unconscious!" he said urgently. "She might have a concussion!"

Luffy and Usopp paused their bickering long enough to pay attention to the frantic reindeer.

"On top of all that, she still hasn't had any sufficient nutrition in three days!" Chopper went on. "She won't be able to heal properly! Doctor, we need a doctor!"

"Chopper, you're a doctor," Usopp pointed out.

Chopper stopped panicking. "Oh yeah."

Luckily, a doctor wouldn't be needed. Schuyler's eyes fluttered opened and she slowly sat up, groaning slightly and rubbing her head. Chopper immediately tried to get her lay back down, but she ignored his pleas. Instead, she turned her focus onto the broken sunglasses on the ground next to where her head had been. She gingerly picked up the bent frames, shards of the lenses falling off as she did. Her eyes were covered in shadows.

"Well, crap," she sighed. "These were my favorite pair of sunglasses."

"Shishishi, sorry about that!" Luffy laughed, not really sounding sorry. "My landings are usually way better than that!"

"Not really..." Usopp deadpanned. He recalled all the times he and other crewmates had ridden Luffy's Gum Gum Rocket. Those landings had _not_ been fun.

Schuyler didn't look at Luffy. She kept kneeling on the ground, holding her ruined shades. "... Back there, on the street. Did your arm _stretch _by any chance, or did I just imagine that? And on the off chance that I _didn't_ imagine it, that's what rocketed us through the wall?"

Usopp broke into a sweat. This was bad! If she didn't know who Luffy was before, then she sure as heck did now. What if she called the Marines and tried to turn them in? The fact that she hadn't any food for three days must have have made her desperate for money. She could buy a lot of meat for 330,000,050 berris. He had to think fast, before she realized that the men (aside from the man-_reindeer_) before her had huge bounties on their heads. Given how she was able to hurt Luffy earlier just by _flicking_ him, Schuyler probably even had a shot at succeeding.

"Don't be silly, people don't stretch!" Usopp declared. "You see, while Luffy was chasing after you this giant bull came surging from a china shop!"

Chopper must have come to the same conclusion, because he joined in. "Yeah! The bull was really angry, and he just charged at Luffy-"

"Yup, my arm did stretch," Luffy interrupted the lie. He smiled and playfully stretched his cheek. "I'm a rubberman!"

_Luffy, you moron_! Usopp and Chopper thought. _She's gonna know you're a famous pirate_!

Schuyler stood up with her back to the pirates. An angry aura was coming off her body. "Oh really? In that case..."

Usopp and Chopper took a few steps back. That aura was the same one Nami got when she was especially ticked off.

"Here it comes..." Usopp groaned. Chopper shook with fear.

Schuyler turned around and the aura vanished. She had stars in her eyes and was smiling like a loon. "YOU'RE TOTALLY AWESOME!"

Usopp and Chopper blinked.

"_EHHHHH_?!"

Schuyler laughed and walked over to Luffy. She began to yank on his other cheek. "Nahahaha! I've been all over Paradise, but I've never seen a rubberman before! That's so freaking cool, you must have eaten a Devil Fruit or something! Which one?"

Luffy smiled and let go of the cheek he had been pulling on. "I ate the Gum Gum Fruit! Did you really think I'm cool? No one's ever said that to me before!"

Schuyler let go of his cheek, nodding enthusiastically and clapping her hands. "Uh-huh! You're completely amazing! Quick, stretch something else! Come on, do it!"

Luffy obliged, stretching his fingers as if he were doing Gum Gum Shield. He released them, then stretching out his leg and kicking the chain fence. Each feat brought forth a new wave of awe and wonder from Schuyler. She was acting just like Luffy and Chopper did when they saw something particularly awesome.

"So... she's not mad?" Chopper asked. This whole scene was downright bizarre.

"Does she_ look_ mad?" Usopp shook his head. "I can tell she's the 'easily amused' type."

Chopper placed a hoof on his chin. "If that's the case, why didn't she think a talking reindeer was cool?" He gasped, and shot Usopp a pleading look. "Usopp, am I not _cool_?!"

Before Usopp could lie his way out of that one, Schuyler stopped fan-girling for a moment to take a good, long look at the little doctor. She then jumped back, startled.

"_AIEEE_! TALKING REINDEER!" she shrieked.

"YOU JUST _NOW_ NOTICED?!" Usopp hollered irritably.

Schuyler ran over to Chopper, scooped him up, and hugged him fiercely. "So _cute_! It's like having a stuffed teddy you can talk to!"

Chopper wiggled happily in her grip. "Don't think complimenting me will make me like you, jerk! You can't butter me up like that!"

_It's official,_ Usopp thought. _This woman has got to be bipolar. Once minute she's scary as hell, the next she's a total space-case_. _And yet, she also reminds me of someone... but who?_

Luffy simply laughed. "Shishishi! Man, I like this lady! She's so weird!"

"Like you're one to talk?"

Schuyler finally released Chopper from her thrall and collected herself. "While I think you're cool and your reindeer is totally adorable, I don't take kindly to being shot through a stone wall."

Luffy frowned. "But I apologized, didn't I?"

"That doesn't make it better!" Schuyler snapped. She crossed her arms. "So now we have no other choice but to finish our fight."

"Whoa, hold on!" Chopper yelled. "You're in no condition to fight! And you said so yourself, you just got thrown through a stone wall!"

"Now that I think about it, we may have hit a second one on our exit."

"Exactly! Let me check you for injuries at least!"

Schuyler waved off the concern. "Oh, come off it. Do have any idea how many times I've been thrown through a stone wall in my lifetime? I'm perfectly fine."

Chopper crossed his arms. "And just how many times has it happened then?"

"... Okay, today makes, like,_ five_, but the other four times were completely unprovoked." She turned and pointed at Luffy. "At any rate, I will not take it lying down either! Come on Strawhat, let's settle this, man to man!"

Luffy blinked. "... But you're a girl."

Schuyler recoiled, as if this were some huge revelation.

"You're kinda stupid, aren't you?" Luffy sighed.

"Again, like you're one to talk?" Usopp deadpanned.

Although, Luffy was right. Usopp couldn't help but notice that on top of being bipolar, Schuyler did not seem to be particularly bright. She was loud, she had a one track mind, she was amazed by the simplest of things (if you want to call a rubberman simple), she was slow on the uptake ... dang it, who did she remind him of?

Schuyler grit her teeth and took a defensive position. "Okay, you win round one! But don't think for a second I'm giving you round two! Let's take this outside!"

Luffy blinked. "... But we're already outside."

"DAMMIT, STOP DECONSTRUCTING MY ONE-LINERS YOU JERK!" she hollered in frustration, her teeth comically become shark-like. **(Anime, you gotta love it.)**

Chopper got between the two. "Do you guys really have to fight? How about we just ask someone for directions and we'll buy you both meat, alright?"

"No way!" Luffy declared. "She's right, I did knock her through a couple of walls. If she wants to take a crack at me for it, then I'm going to let her. It's only fair."

Chopper gaped. Couldn't Luffy see that Schuyler was no position to battle right now? This fight wouldn't be fair, even if they tried! Luffy was in perfect health and she had been starved for three days!

"Glad to know somebody around here gets it," Schuyler said, nodding in approval. She turned and walked over to her dufflebag, which had fallen to the ground during the crash. "You won the first two rounds, but round three will definitely be mine! Though, before we get started, I need to get something. That fine with you?"

Luffy nodded. It was fine with him. Schuyler zipped opened her bag and dug through it bit, before finally locating what she was looking for.

"Here we are..." she muttered to herself.

She stood up and turned to face the rubbery captain.

Luffy's eyes widened. "No way..."

Schuyler had slipped a pair of star-shaped sunglasses with red frames and blue lenses over her eyes.

"Emergency Back-Up Sunglasses!" she declared, striking what she probably thought was a cool pose.

"SO COOL!" Luffy and Chopper announced in awe.

"You had _anothe_r pair?!" Usopp shouted, slapping the air.

Usopp shook his head. While he also thought those sunglasses were kind of awesome, he knew he still had a job to do. If Luffy and Schuyler were really going through with this, there was only one thing he could do to fulfill his promise to Nami about keeping Luffy from destroying everything!

... And that was to find Nami and have _her_ keep Luffy from destroying everything.

Usopp walked over to Chopper- who was still fan-boying over the sunglasses- and began dragging him off by the horns.

"Let's go, Chopper!" he said. "We have to find Nami and have her put a stop to this before its too late!"

The pair climbed back through the hole in the building and took off running (Well, more like Usopp took off running while dragging Chopper behind him. The little reindeer was still awestruck by the coolness of those sunglasses). Now only Luffy and Schuyler remained.

"You do know how to fight, don't you?" Luffy asked. "I guess I should have asked that before I started chasing you."

Schuyler giggled and pushed her shades on to her forehead. "Yeah, I had a feeling you were the impulsive type. Don't worry, I can fight. And I'm going to kick your sorry butt here halfway to the West Blue."

Luffy grinned. "You're welcome to try it. And when I win, you have to give me those awesome sunglasses."

She grinned back. "Sounds good to me."

The pair took defensive stances, then charged.

* * *

Zoro lay fast asleep against the Sunny's mast, a snot bubble coming out of his nose.

The bubble popped and he sat up

_I don't know why_, he thought. _But for some reason I have the feeling Luffy's getting into a really ridiculous fight_.

Zoro considered this for a moment, then fell back to his original position.

_Eh, Luffy's a big boy. He can handle himself_.


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not and will never own one Piece. Only my OCs are mine.**

**...SABO LIVES! I'M STILL GIDDY ABOUT THAT!**

* * *

_Outside, Nami and Sanji ran through the cobblestone streets._

_"THAT MORON!" they shouted. "WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!"_

_They moved forward, only hoping they would find Luffy before he did something monumentally stupid..._

* * *

**Chapter 4: In Which the Challenge (Stupid as it Was) is Met, and Sanji Reunites With an Old Friend**

* * *

Really, of the two pirates currently searching frantically, the one who felt most to blame for the mistake was of course Nami herself. Hadn't she been the one who declared that Luffy was to never go off alone or unsupervised after that incident in Rainbase? (Usopp and Chopper did not count as supervision. While the longnosed liar and reindeer doctor- to their credit- would at least_ attempt_ to rein Luffy in, those two would eventually get caught up in his hijinks.) She had been so caught up in getting their bungalow she completely forgot.

However, finding Luffy before he did something monumentally stupid was easier said than done. Luffy could move very, very fast when he was hungry even if he was dragging two passengers with him, and the resort itself covered a large area. In a nutshell, there was no telling where Luffy could have ended up in the span of 40 minutes given his overall speed and how hungry he was upon his departure.

Nami and Sanji began their search by splitting up. Nami looked around the general area around the main building, casinos, and the pools (because hey, Luffy was stupid like that), while Sanji got directions to the restaurant district (because hey, Luffy had a one-track mind like that). Both asked whoever they saw if they had seen a loud boy in a straw hat, a guy with a long nose and goggles, and a talking reindeer wandering around anywhere. Either no one had seen them, or they gave the two strange looks and didn't answer.

Having hit mutual dead-ends, Nami and Sanji met up next to one of the resort's beaches.

"Any luck?" Sanji asked.

Nami shook her head. "None whatsoever. He's not near the main building, and he at least had the sense to stay away from the swimming pool. What about you?"

"He wasn't near any restaurants, if that's what you're asking. From what I've gathered, the restaurant district is smaller than any of the other areas in the resort, so I was able to cover a lot of ground. If Luffy hasn't managed to find his way there yet, then he must be more lost than we thought."

Nami slapped her forehead. "What was I thinking, letting him run off by himself? I just know that the next time we turn, he, Chopper, and Usopp will be running down the street trying to get away from Marines."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Nami!" Sanji insisted. "It was a temporary lapse in judgement; it happens to everyone eventually! For now, let's just focus on finding our crappy captain before he gets into trouble, okay?"

"You mean, assuming he hasn't gotten into trouble already?" Nami asked, smiling wryly.

Sanji gave a smirk in return. "First time for everything, as they say."

Nami playfully shoved his shoulder. "If you say so. Come on, let's keep looking."

They began running along the beach's boardwalk, occasionally looking to either side to see if Luffy was there, playing one of the games or buying boardwalk food. Once again, no such luck. They ended up moving beyond the boardwalk and were just sprinting along a sidewalk next to the beach. It was during this sprint though, that Nami caught sight of a familiar head of cyan-colored hair.

"Oi, Franky!" Nami called out, stopping.

Franky was standing waist deep in the ocean, playing a game of chicken fight with three women. He looked he was having a lot of fun too, given he didn't even notice Nami and Sanji arrive.

"What the-" Sanji stepped forward, gripping the railing separating the beach from the sidewalk. "How the hell did_ Franky_ get three gorgeous women to play in the water with him?"

For time reasons, Nami ignored him and continued shouting at their shipwright. "Franky! Hey, Franky!"

The woman sitting on Franky's shoulders glanced at them, then poked the cyborg. "Hey, bro! Those people over there are calling you!"

Franky stopped his horsing long enough to look where the lady was pointing. He waved one of his large arms. "_Yow_! Cook-bro, Nami-sis, what's up?!"

"Franky, have you seen Luffy anywhere?!" Nami asked/called out.

"Sorry, haven't seen Strawhat since he ran off to find world-renowned food or whatever! Why, is there a problem?"

"Not unless Luffy decides to cause one! Keep an eye out for him, okay?"

"Gotcha! Oh, by the way, did you guys wanna meet up somewhere later?"

Nami thought for a moment, then had an idea. "Actually, yeah! Meet us at Main Street Cafe around five! Sound good?"

Sanji raised an eyebrow at Nami, but did nothing to argue.

"Sure thing, sis!"

"One more thing, Franky!" Sanji yelled.

"Yeah, Cook-bro?" Franky asked.

Sanji's expression was completely serious. "By any chance will you guys be needing another player-"

Nami grabbed his ear and began dragging him off, _again_.

"Ow! Nami-swan, we talked about the ear!"

"You can flirt with girls after we find Luffy, Sanji!" Nami barked, letting go and breaking back into a run. "Let's go!"

Sanji started to run as well, and soon the navigator and the chef were out of sight.

"Wow bro," one of the women said. "Your friends are kind of weird."

"Yeah, they are," Franky admitted. "Then again, you need to be a little bit weird to make it on our crew. Anyway, now that that's settled, let's have around SUPER round of chicken fight!"

"_Super_!" the women agreed, throwing their arms in the air, Franky-style.

* * *

Having broken away from the beach, Nami and Sanji soon found themselves back in the various districts of the resort. To be specific, they entered the large shopping district. They figured it wouldn't hurt to at least check the place, though the chances they would find Luffy in this area were unlikely. Luffy liked to do many kinds of activities but shopping was _not_ one of them. The only possibility he would be would be if Chopper dragged him and Usopp there in search of a book store.

However, this part of the search went a bit slower than the previous locations, given Nami stopped every five feet to oogle at some the outfits in shop windows. Sanji eagerly stopped and waited for her finish, before taking enough running again whenever Nami realized she had become distracted. (Again, this occurred repeatedly.)

And speaking of book stores, it wasn't long before they caught sight of another crewmate walking out of one, carrying a large stack of books.

"Robin-baby!" Sanji called out happily. "Hi!"

Robin turned her head to look at her crewmates as they stopped next to her. "Nami, Mr. Cook. Why were you running? Is there some sort of problem?"

Nami groaned, rubbing her temples. "We're not sure, but we'd like to prevent one if possible."

"... Does it have anything to do with you letting Luffy go off on his own with only Longnose and our doctor as supervision?"

Nami gaped and Sanji cooed about how observant Robin-honey was.

"You _knew_?" Nami ground out. "Why didn't you say _anything_?"

Robin gave her usual half-smile. "I assumed you would realize it before it was too late. I can only hope our captain hasn't burned down a part of the resort yet."

Nami hung her head dejectedly. _Why does she have to say things like that so calmly_?

"Oh Robin, those books look heavy!" Sanji noticed. "Want me to hold them for you?"

"No, it's alright. They're actually pretty light," Robin assured him. "Anyway, if you want some help, I could try using my powers to see if Luffy's around here anywhere."

Nami was about to take her up on that offer, when they heard voices shouting towards them.

"Nami, Sanji, Robin! Over here!"

The three turned to see Usopp and Chopper (back in Walk Point) running up the street in a wild panic.

So, nothing unusual there.

Except that Luffy wasn't with them.

"Usopp, Chopper, where's Luffy?!" Nami shouted when they came to a stop. "Don't tell me you lost him! You know his sense of direction is almost as bad as Zoro's!"

"We didn't... lose him..." Chopper said, gasping for breath. "We know... exactly where he is."

"And you left him _alone_? In what crazy universe did that seem like a good idea?!"

"I believe Chopper and Longnose would be more than happy to explain themselves, if given the chance to speak," Robin spoke up.

Nami puffed out in her cheeks in annoyance, but silently agreed.

"You heard the gorgeous lady," Sanji addressed the younger crewmates. He frowned, hinting that their answer had better be good. "Tell us what happened."

Usopp gulped and began his explanation. "So Luffy was dragging us through the shopping area, trying to find some meat. He ended up tossing us into a fountain, and then he saw some lady eating a piece of meat so he asked her where the restaurants were. Apparently, the woman herself didn't even know and it somehow all boiled down to a fight over the meat she was eating. After chasing her for a few blocks, Luffy somehow ended up getting challenged to a duel after he accidentally threw her through a wall-"

"LUFFY THREW A WOMAN THROUGH A WALL?!"

"It was an accident, and she_ was_ okay afterwards."

"NO EXCUSES! AND NOW HE'S FIGHTING HER IN A DUEL AS WE SPEAK?!"

You could tell Sanji was angry even if you didn't know him. He was surrounded by the flames that always seemed to appear around him when he was especially angry. Nami, Robin, Usopp, and Chopper had the sense to take a few steps back away from him.

"Exactly!" Chopper said. "And we need to stop them! That lady said the meat she was eating was the only food she had in three days! She couldn't possibly have the energy to take Luffy on!"

"She hasn't eaten only because she was stupid enough to get lost for three days in the shopping district," Usopp deadpanned.

"She was lost in _one_ area for _three_ days?" Nami asked incredulously. "I don't think even Zoro- scratch that. Zoro thinks North means 'up' for crying out loud."

"Maybe so, but this woman comes at a close tie with Luffy in terms of a lack of a sense of direction, if anything," Robin commented.

"Just perfect," Nami groaned, rubbing her temples. "What do I have to do, tie Luffy to the Sunny's mast? He can't go to one island without getting into a fight. Sanji, we should- Sanji?"

The cook in question was no longer standing next to the now very confused navigator.

"Um... where'd Sanji go?" Usopp asked.

Robin pointed to the side. "He took off after Chopper expressed his concerns about the woman's health."

Sure enough, they could see some ways away the flames of Sanji's rage, which left behind a scorched trail on the ground.

"LUFFY!" he was shouting. "IF YOU HURT ONE HAIR ON A STARVING WOMAN'S HEAD, I'LL FILLET YOU LIKE A FISH!"

The crew stared, sweatdropping as Sanji was soon out of sight.

"He doesn't waste any time, does he?" Chopper asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Not when there's a pretty lady involved," Usopp sighed.

"But we never told him she was pretty."

"The fact she's woman and hasn't eaten in awhile is all he needs to know," Robin said. "If Luffy were fighting a perfectly healthy man, I doubt he'd be in such a rush."

"Come on everyone!" Nami ordered, beginning to chase after the chef. "We need to stop Luffy's fight before he gets us thrown out of the resort!"

"Shouldn't we also protect him from Sanji?" Usopp asked as he and the other two followed her. (Robin sprouted a couple of extra arms to keep her books in place.)

Nami scowled. "For Luffy's sake, he better hope Sanji gets to him first. Because whatever he has planned, it's not going to be nearly as bad as what I going to do to that rubber idiot when I get_ my_ hands on him."

Usopp and Chopper shuddered from the sheer intensity of Nami's pissed-off aura. Yup, it was the exact same one that Schuyler woman had given off a little earlier.

Robin, however, just chuckled.

* * *

"Gum Gum _Whip_!"

Luffy... well, whipped out his leg, which in turn stretched an incredible length towards his target. Said target, Schuyler, did an impressive flip, landing on her hands with her legs sticking out horizontally and just narrowly avoiding the attack. The Gum Gum Whip ended up slamming against the chain link fence.

Their fight had been going on for about 8 minutes now, and Schuyler had yet to throw so much as a single punch. It seemed all she was concerned with was dodging Luffy at every conceivable opportunity.

"Come _on_!" Luffy whined. His leg snapped back into place. "You said you wanted to fight me, right? It's not a fight if I'm the only one doing any fighting!"

"I'm trying not to break my Emergency Back-Up Sunglasses!" she argued, still doing a handstand. "You do want them if you win, right?"

"But if you don't fight back, then it's not really winning!"

"Hmm, good point. Alright, if you really want me to, I guess I'll have to..."

Schuyler pushed herself off ground, went spinning through the air, and brought her foot down towards Luffy's face.

"... get _serious_!"

Luckily, Luffy's reflexes kicked in and he guarded against the kick by crossing his arms over his head and blocking Schuyler's foot. Their eyes met for a single instant, before Schuyler used Luffy's arms as launching pad to flip over him and deliver a sharp kick to the back of his neck. This time, Luffy was unable block and was sent flying into the fence, the chain links chiming happily against each other.

"How was that?!" Schuyler called over to him.

Luffy managed to pull his face from the fence, through it left an imprint on his left cheek and forehead.

_Man, that really hurt_! Luffy thought, rubbing his neck. _First the flicking thing, now this? I'm a rubberman, how is she able to hurt me like that_?

Then again, Nami and some of the others were able to hurt him with hits if they were especially angry. Maybe it was the same-

"HEY, I'M STILL HERE!"

Luffy ducked in time to avoid another kick from Schuyler. The kick was forceful enough to knock over the fence. The rubberman took a few cautious steps back away from her. She kicked almost as hard as Sanji, and that was saying something!

Schuyler backed up farther, then ran forward and kicked out her leg again. Only this time, Luffy stretched out his arms and caught her by the ankle. As he stretched, he was sure to twist his arms together. Luffy then heaved his arms upward, taking Schuyler up into the air. With that, his arms began to rapidly untwist.

"Gum Gum _Hammer_!"

Schuyler's face was slammed into the ground, hard. When she came up on the recoil, her eyes were rolled back and blood went flying out of her mouth. Meanwhile, Luffy's arms stretched back into place and he jumped on top what was left of the fence.

"Oi!" Luffy called down to her. "You're not dead are you? I think I slammed you pretty hard just now!"

Schuyler slowly pushed herself off the ground and into a standing position. Her nose was bleeding, but not too badly. Luffy was almost expecting her to beat on him mercilessly for that stunt, but instead, she grinned and gave him a thumbs up.

"The Emergency Back-Up Sunglasses are okay!" she declared.

"You're nose is bleeding," Luffy pointed out, though happy those cool sunglasses were alright.

Schuyler gently prodded the tip of her nose, then giggled sheepishly while rubbing her neck. "Aw, it's okay. This isn't the first time I've been given a nosebleed, and it certainly won't be the last." She wiped away the blood with her thumb and smiled. "Shall we continue?"

In an instant, she right next to Luffy, with an arm reared back to punch him. Luffy grabbed his head and stretch his neck, moving his face out of harm's way. Schuyler's fist went clear over him, and he took the chance to jump up a little, and press the bottoms of his feet together.

"Gum Gum _Spear_!" he announced.

Before his legs even shot out, Schuyler gained a slightly panicked expression and flipped herself up by gripping the rubber boy's shoulders, completely avoiding the attack. Miraculously, she managed to keep herself vertical and balanced while Luffy regained his footing.

Schuyler then swung her legs forward, and the resulting momentum allowed to land on her feet as well as take Luffy down in a flip. Before Luffy could bring in Schuyler's own face-plant in for an encore, he tucked in his legs then kicked her in the stomach, once again sending her flying through a stone wall.

"Oops," Luffy winced, sitting on the ground. "Chopper's not going to like that..."

Schuyler, though, didn't seem to affected this time around. She simply climbed out of the hole and dusted off her clothes.

"_Six_ times I've been thrown through a wall..." she muttered in uncharacteristic annoyance. "That's getting old..."

Luffy placed a hand on his shoulder, and began swinging his arm in a circle. "Sorry about that. How about I just finish this, and then you can give me those cool sunglasses."

Schuyler frowned and slipped the sunglasses in question back over her eyes. The expression she was wearing would have been intimidating if the sunglasses didn't look so out of place with it.

Luffy shot his fist forward. "Gum Gum _Pistol_!"

If Luffy was expecting Schuyler to make an attempt to dodge, he was sorely disappointed. Instead, she quickly pulled something out of one of the pockets on her cargo pants and blocked Luffy's fist with her palm. Instead being sent flying back like Luffy expected, Schuyler remained exactly where she was. It was as if the impact of the punch just vanished.

"What the-" he began to ask.

Schuyler lept forward and ran along Luffy's outstretched arm before it could snap back. Once she was in front of him, she hooked her legs around his shoulders and pressed her palm to his face.

Luffy was now left staring at a very familiar seashell with holes in in it.

_That's a-_ he thought.

"IMPACT!" Schuyler shouted.

Bother fighters were sent flying in opposite directions. Luffy with his head back, hat knocked off, and blood flying out of his mouth: and Schuyler with grit teeth and a strong of colorful curses flying out of _her_ mouth. They both ended up tumbling into opposite sides of the remaining chain link fence. A moment of quiet passed once they landed, given they needed to catch their breath and wait for the pain of the impact to disappear.

"For... the record..." Schuyler panted. "That was... payback... for the Gum Gum Hammer."

"Where did you... get an... Impact Dial?" Luffy panted as well. Those things hurt! He remembered quite clearly how that dumpling guy back on Skypeia kept using one.

"You'd be amazed about what you can find on the black market," Schuyler grunted, rubbing her shoulder and placing the dial back in her pocket. "Hey, when we're done, can you have your reindeer doctor look at me?"

Luffy also grunted, and placed his hat back on top of his head. "Sure, but why?"

Schuyler removed the glove on the hand that held the dial, and revealed it was red and throbbing. "Because I think the Impact Dial's recoil just may have broken my hand."

Now, Luffy wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even he knew that it took a certain level of stupidity to only damage your hand with an Impact Dial. Usually, you're whole arm got numb if the force wasn't too strong (Or so Usopp's told him). His Gum Gum Pistol was strong, but...

"Man," Schuyler whined gripping her wounded hand. "Why does this always happened when I use that thing?"

"You shouldn't use a weapon you can't handle," Luffy observed.

"SHUT UP, NO ONE ASKED YOU!"

"But you just asked why does-"

"THAT WAS RHETORICAL, MORON!"

Schuyler got back on her feet and replaced her glove. Her back-up sunglasses, which had fallen off in the impact, were slipped back over her eyes. She reached down, picked up a stray metal rod, and ran toward Luffy with it. It didn't take a genius to figure out what she intended to do with it.

Luffy stretched his arms out to either side, one hand gripping the chain link fence and other other grabbing the stone wall. He began walking backward.

"Gum Gum..." he started. "_Rocket_!"

Unfortunately, what would have been a perfectly executed Gum Gum Rocket failed, for the stone he had been holding crumbled in his grip and had him flying forward prematurely and with no aim in mind. Schuyler noticed this too, for she stopped her charge and stared at the flailing rubber person hurtling right towards her. In some strange turn of events following this, the two somehow found themselves bouncing high into the air and over the building they had repeatedly crashed through earlier.

They hung comically in the sky for a moment or two, and Schuyler gave Luffy a dirty look.

"It's official," she scowled. "I hate you."

Luffy shrugged. "I'm sorry?"

Then they began to fall.

* * *

Black polished dress shoes slapped against the road as Sanji ran in the direction Usopp and Chopper had come from. To say he was pissed would be an understatement. Not only was Luffy fighting a woman, but one that hadn't eaten in three days as well!

That crappy captain better not hurt the lady, or there'd be some _serious_ repercussions. Would he be allowed to revoke his meat privileges? He'd have to ask Nami.

Of course, it only then occurred to him he had been rage-flaming over the entire course of his run. He mentally scolded himself for being so careless. Sanji took a deep breath to calm down, and snuffed out the blaze. He didn't want to inadvertently burn down the resort. That was more of Luffy's shtick.

Anyway, after several minutes of rage-running, he soon found himself in front of a stone building with multiple holes in it. Somehow, the damage hadn't attracted a crowd. It was weird but Sanji wasn't complaining.

"Either someone with a cannon has really bad aim," he muttered to himself. "Or Luffy has been through here."

He peered through the holes to see a ruined yard, but no Luffy. Just where did that idiot go-

"LOOK OUT BELOW!"

_Don't look up, don't look up, don't look up_, Sanji told himself.

He looked up. Hurtling down towards him like some buffoonish meteor was his captain and one seriously ticked-off-looking girl. They were coming in fast. Too fast.

Sanji grimaced. This was going to hurt.

_**CRASH!**_

* * *

Nami, Usopp, Chopper, and Robin turned a corner just in time see something falling from the sky crash-land on their cook.

"Sanji!" Nami gasped.

She and the others quickly made their way to where Sanji had been standing. There was now a small, shallow crater in the cobblestones, with Luffy sitting triumphantly on Sanji's back. (Sanji himself, now had swirly eyes that matched his eyebrows quite nicely.) He laughed and slipped a pair of sunglasses over his eyes.

"Shishishi!" he laughed. "I win, I win, I win!"

"Won what?" Nami shouted. "And where did you get those stupid-looking sunglasses?!"

"You won? That's great Luffy!" Chopper said. He looked around. "Eh... but where's the lady you were fighting?"

"Is that her?" Robin asked, pointing to an unconscious body lying several feet away.

Usopp walked over and checked. "Yeah, it's her. This has to be the second time Luffy's knocked her unconscious today."

"Oh no!" Chopper shrieked. "A doctor, we need a doctor!"

"Chopper, you're the doctor."

"Oh yeah."

After this little exchange took place, Sanji regained lucidity and kicked his captain off his person, snarling, "What the _hell_ was that?! You could have killed me just now, crappy rubberhead captain!"

Luffy remained seated on the ground and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, sorry about that. I was trying to use my Gum Gum Rocket, but the wall I was holding crumbled in my grip." He paused. "... So, got any food?"

Sanji moved to kick his captain again, but Nami beat him to it with a hard punch to the head.

"Idiot, look at this place!" Nami scolded Luffy as she kept hitting him. "You're lucky no one was around to see this! Do you want us to get thrown off the island when we just got here?!"

Luffy face was now a mess of swollen lumps. Strangely though, his hard-earned sunglasses were perfectly intact.

"Sowwy, Nawi," Luffy apologized through swollen lips.

"Yeah, you better be!" Nami barked.

"Nami-swan is so beautiful when she's inflicting punishment!" Sanji swooned in _mellorine_ mode.

Robin set down her books and prodded the woman's shoulder. "Excuse me, miss? You're not dead, are you? Because if you fell with Luffy, I wouldn't be surprised if the fall damaged your brain."

"Her brain was already damaged before Luffy even met her," Usopp sighed. "She was a total space case."

As if reacting to being talked about, the unconscious girl took a deep intake a breath and pushed herself into a sitting position.

"Jeezum pete, that was scary!" she panted. "I thought that fall was going to kill me!"

"Never fear, my lady, your prince is here!" Sanji said happily. He noodle-danced his way over to her and helped her stand. "I apologize for my captain's idiocy. If there's anyway I can make it up to you-"

"Sanji-chan?" the lady interrupted.

Sanji froze, now getting a full look of her face. His own face wore an expression of absolute shock.

"Sanji?" Robin asked, standing up. "Is everything alright?"

"You look weird," Chopper commented. "You're not sick, are you?"

Sanji didn't hear them. He just kept staring at the girl before him. There was no way... not after all these years... was it really?

The cook swallowed the forming lump in his throat and said, "... Schuyler? Is it really you?"

Schuyler grinned. "Hi, Sanji-chan. Long time no see."

That did it for both of them. Sanji and Schuyler gave shout and grabbed the other in an enthusiastic hug. Sanji even went as far as to spin Schuyler around while Schuyler hugged his neck.

"Look at you!" Sanji yelled.

"Look at you!" Schuyler echoed.

"I can't believe it!"

"I'm so happy to see you!"

"How long has it been?"

"Too long!"

"You sure changed! You stopped wearing that ratty cardigan I see!"

"You changed too! You're taller than me now! What happened to that little pipsqueak whose head I used shove into the snow?"

"Oh yeah, that's right!" Sanji said in feigned annoyance as he let go of her. "You did used to do that to me! I've never forgiven you for that, you jerk!"

Schuyler bopped him on the head.

"Ow!" he protested. "What was that for?"

Schuyler crossed her arms. "I see you still don't know how to respect women, Sanji-chan!"

"That's not true! I know all about respecting ladies."

"Are you saying I'm not a lady?!"

"Ow! Stop hitting me!"

Schuyler grinned wickedly. "Looks like someone needs a reminder who the boss is in this relationship. C'mere!"

Schuyler playfully placed Sanji into a headlock and began giving him a noogie. Sanji, instead of getting angry or swooning that a gorgeous lady was holding him, just laughed and told her to stop it.

"Knock it off Schuy! You're embarrassing me!"

"No way, Sanji-chan! I've been waiting eleven years for this and I'm not giving up so soon!"

Nami, Chopper, Usopp, and Luffy gaped at the scene, while Robin just watched with interest. It was all so surreal. Sanji was acting like a little kid, and completely ignoring the fact Schuyler was a beautiful woman! Why wasn't he showering her with compliments or getting a nosebleed from being so close to her chest?

Who was this guy, and what had he done with their women-obsessed chef? _What the heck was going on_?

* * *

**That last sentence was referring to Sanji, in case you didn't know.**


	6. Chapter 5

**I recently watched the episode with the Going Merry's funeral, finally.**

**... MERRY! *sobs tearfully***

**Anyway, I'm sorry updates have been so sporadic. I just have a busy academic life (thanks to some advanced classes I didn't even want to take but did because my dad would not shut up about it). I'll try to not go so long between updates from now on, but no promises.**

**And while I said there would be no shipping, I'm not above some canon ship-tease. So please enjoy any you may or may not find.**

* * *

_Schuyler playfully placed Sanji into a headlock and began giving him a noogie. Sanji, instead of getting angry or swooning that a gorgeous lady was holding him, just laughed and told her to stop it._

_"Knock it off Schuy! You're embarrassing me!"_

_"No way, Sanji-chan! I've been waiting eleven years for this and I'm not giving up so soon!"_

_Nami, Chopper, Usopp, and Luffy gaped at the scene, while Robin just watched with interest. It was all so surreal. Sanji was acting like a little kid, and completely ignoring the fact Schuyler was a beautiful woman! Why wasn't he showering her with compliments or getting a nosebleed from being so close to her chest?_

_Who was this guy, and what had he done with their women-obsessed chef? _What the heck was going on_?_

* * *

**Chapter 5: In Which the Straw Hats Get a Much Needed Explanation (Cause Seriously, Just What the Heck Is Going On?)**

* * *

The Pearly Conch's Main Street Cafe was by no means its most famous restaurant, but it was a personal favorite of the patrons because it's simple yet tasteful food and decor. The restaurant was used to feeding a large amount of people everyday... though, that was when it was more spread out over the course of the day. Never had they ever had to deal with one party ordering enough food that would feed a small village for a month. And never had they ever seen most of that food go into the gullets of just two people.

Schuyler shoveled in a bowl of rice with her chopsticks before finally taking taking a break to breathe.

"Whew, what a relief!" she sighed. "I thought I was going to starve to death!"

"How does someone get lost for three days in the same area?" Sanji asked her. "I remember you always had a lousy sense of direction, but this is pushing it."

"It's not my fault. Blame the guys who built the resort for making every street look exactly the same. If they were less confusing, I would have found this place sooner and wouldn't have to steal that meat I was eating earlier."

"I still can't believe you dropped it when we crashed through that wall," Luffy said grumpily, clearly mourning the loss of the meat. Though, seeing as he said this while chewing on a huge hunk of meat himself, it didn't inspire much sympathy.

"I said I was sorry!" Schuyler argued. "At least you get my Emergency Back-Up Sunglasses out of it, right?"

Luffy was still wearing the sunglasses, perched over his hat, so that answered that question.

"Um, Sanji?" Nami spoke up, setting down her glass of tangerine juice. "You still haven't told us exactly how you know Schuyler."

"Yeah!" Usopp added. "You just went ahead and started hugging her and let her give you a noogie without so much as an explanation! We want answers!"

Schuyler gave Sanji a sad puppy face. "You never mentioned me, Sanji-chan?"

Chopper and Franky snickered at the cute nickname for their cook.

Sanji rubbed the back of his neck. How'd he get into this again?

* * *

_**About 20 minutes earlier, give or take...**_

_The Straw Hats watched Schuyler shamelessly grind her knuckles into Sanji's noggin for a few more minutes before the blonde cook finally broke free and gave the girl another hug. It was all so weird! Here was Sanji, the crew's resident ero-women-loving cook, hugging a woman, and he didn't look like he was having a perverted thought in the least! All there was on his face was an expression of child-like joy he shared with Schuyler._

_Usopp looked to both sides. Did the apocalypse occur when they weren't looking or something?_

_Chopper began rooting through his blue bag. Maybe Sanji was sick._

_Robin set her books down on a nearby table and watched the scene thoughtfully, giving Schuyler an inquisitive stare._

_Luffy cocked his head to one side. "Meat Lady knows Sanji? Huh, weird."_

_Understatement of the year. Sanji was the kind of man who claimed to love women, not be friends with them. What was it about this woman that making their cook act so out of character?_

_"Sanji, do you _know_ her?" Nami said in disbelief._

_"Yeah, you could say that," Sanji replied, ending the hug. He laughed. "So, you got into a fight with Luffy over a piece of meat. That sounds like something you would do."_

_"I would've won if he hadn't launched us into the air like that," Schuyler pouted. "I'm not even entirely sure how that happened."_

_"Well, you used an Impact Dial on my face!" Luffy interrupted._

_"You hammered me into the ground!" she retorted._

_"You managed to hold up against Luffy?' Sanji asked. "Impressive. I didn't know you'd gotten so strong."_

_"Why thank you, Sanji-chan!" _

_"Weren't you going on awhile ago about how Luffy shouldn't have been fighting a starving lady?" Usopp deadpanned._

_Sanji thought Luffy fighting against a lady was unforgivable a few minutes ago. But now that he knew it was this Schuyler person, it was okay? How infuriating. __At Usopp's observation though, Schuyler collapsed, groaning. Chopper quickly grew into Heavy Point and caught her before she fell to the ground._

_"Schuyler!" Sanji shouted worriedly. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" He glared at his captain. "Luffy, if you did anything-"_

_"Sanji, we did tell you she hadn't eaten in three days," Chopper reminded him. "I doubt all this fighting and jumping around did anything to help her condition. This is just it all catching up with her."_

_"That sounds about right..." Schuyler agreed weakly._

_"She ate some that meat, right?" Usopp asked. "It was the whole reason she and Luffy started fighting in the first place."_

_Luffy looked at Schuyler. "Oh yeah, where is that meat? I won the fight, so I get that too."_

_Schuyler broke into a sweat and refused to meet the captain's eyes._

_"Don't tell me," Nami sighed. "You lost it, didn't you?"_

_"WHAT?!" Luffy shouted._

_"If Ms. Schuyler is hungry, maybe it would be in our best interest to locate a restaurant?" Robin spoke up. "We could have an early dinner, and it would give Mr. Cook a break from preparing our meal."_

_"Great idea, Robin-chwan! You're so lovely and considerate!" Sanji declared happily with hearts in his visible eye. "I know just the place!"_

_Schuyler looked up at Chopper and whispered, "How do his eyes _do_ that?"_

_Chopper shrugged. "I'm still trying to figure that out."_

* * *

**_Present_**

So here they were. It didn't take long for the group to arrive at the restaurant district (it only took five minutes from where they were, thus emphasizing the sheer atrocity of Schuyler's sense of direction). When they arrived, they found Franky already there waiting for them, him having finished playing with 'the _super_ ladies', as he so eloquently put it. Once seated, they ordered enough food to satisfy Luffy's tastes without going over budget, and were not too surprised to see Schuyler order the exact same thing. (Sanji was slightly regretting offering to pay for her. This meal alone was going to cut into his cigarette budget.)

"Yeah, Sanji never mentioned you," Luffy said while swallowing a fried fish whole. "Don't know why. You seem pretty alright."

"Aw thanks, Luffy-chan!" Schuyler said happily.

"Well, tell us now, Cook-bro," Franky said after knocking back half a bottle of cola. "Introduce us to Schuy-sis."

_She's already 'Schuy-sis'?_ Sanji thought. He turned to Schuyler and placed an arm around her shoulders (they had been sitting next to each other). "Well, to answer all your questions, I'd like to formally introduce you to the one and only Schuyler. We knew each other when we were little, and I guess you can say she was my best friend."

"What, I'm not your best friend _now_?" Schuyler asked, crossing her arms.

"Correction; was and still _is_ my best friend. Better?"

"Much, thank you."

The Straw Hats present stared at the cook.

Sanji raised a curly eyebrow. "Why are you all staring at me like that?"

"Your best friend..." Usopp said slowly. "... is a_ girl_."

"Yeah."

"A _girl_," Chopper echoed.

Sanji nodded. "Yes, we've clarified that."

"A pretty _girl..._" Franky added. "... is your _best friend_."

"Is it wrong that I'm a girl?" Schuyler wondered. She didn't sound upset, just confused.

"No, of course not!" Chopper said. "It's... just a little surprising, that's all."

Usopp stood up and and walked over to Schuyler, examining her face closely.

"So, you're an old friend of Sanji's, correct?" he asked suspiciously.

Schuyler nodded. "That's right."

"You're not by any chance a marine, are you?"

"Um, no. The marines are boring."

"Or in the possession of a cursed sword?"

"Excuse me?"

"Usopp!" Nami scolded him.

"I'm just being cautious!" Usopp yelled back, retaking his seat. "The last time we ran into an 'old friend' of a crewmate, it didn't end well!"

Nami rested her chin on her palm and took a bite of her food. "You're lucky Zoro's back on the Sunny, or he would've skewered you for that comment."

* * *

Back on the Sunny, Zoro sneezed in his sleep.

* * *

Usopp stuck his tongue out at her but didn't argue.

Franky looked at Robin. "Did I miss something here?"

"It was before you joined," Robin explained. "I'll tell you about it later."

Sanji rolled eyes and turned back to his friend. "Questions aside, I still can't believe it's you! What are you doing here at this resort?"

Schuyler raised an eyebrow. "Wait, didn't you get my message?"

"Message?"

"Yeah, I left you one at the main building. I told them to give it to you when you got here. Didn't you get it?"

"Oh, I did get it," Sanji replied. "I just wasn't sure if it was from you or not."

Schuyler removed his arm from her shoulders. "How could you not? 'Nice to see you didn't end up starving to death on some God-forsaken rock in the middle of the ocean'? I figured you would remember me saying that would happen to you when you left on the _Orbit_." She chuckled. "Seriously though, I was so sure that was what happened, since I never heard from you. Glad to see it didn't."

Sanji glanced to the side sheepishly.

Schuyler frowned. "Oh Lord, that didn't actually happen, did it?"

She looked so darn upset at the idea that she seemed ready to step into an emo-corner, as if she had personally jinxed Sanji's trip.

"No, no, of course not!" Sanji assured her hurriedly. _At least, not completely anyway..._ "I'm obviously not dead, right?"

"Oh, good point," Schuyler said, tapping her fist into her palm in realization. "You wouldn't be here talking to me if you were dead."

Sanji breathed a sigh of relief. He dodged a bullet there.

"Nami told me about that message on the way here," Robin said. She had calculating look in her eyes. "Tell me, how did you know Sanji would be here in time for a five o'clock dinner? Or he would even be arriving at this island?"

"Just a hunch," Schuyler shrugged. She paused to take another bite of meat before continuing. "On the latter, I heard that the Strawhat pirates were heading in this general direction, so the rest of it was guess-work."

"Wait, does that mean you already knew who Luffy was when we ran into you?" Chopper asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I did," she admitted. "Though I wasn't expecting the stretching thing. That was new to me."

"She thinks I'm cool, Sanji!" Luffy announced.

"I bet she does," Sanji said.

"Well, anyway, I heard about you guys before I came here," Schuyler went on. "Imagine my surprise when I heard my Sanji-chan had become an infamous pirate! I never took you for the type, but here you are."

"How'd you find out?" Sanji asked.

Schuyler reached into her jacket and pulled out a folded up piece of paper. After she unfolded it, she handed it to Sanji. The expression of utter disgust that came over his features could only mean he was looking at his wanted poster.

"Of course that's how you knew..." Sanji sighed, bowing his head dejectedly.

Schuyler took the poster back and patted his head sympathetically. "I always did say you had horrible luck. I can't believe the Marines messed up so bad. I mean, your lips aren't_ that_ bulbous..."

A quiet over came the table. It lasted a good few seconds before being completely ruined by Sanji.

"IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU NOTICED WAS DIFFERENT?!" he hollered angrily, nearly jumping from his seat.

Schuyler leaned back a little. "Uh, yeah. Besides the lips, it's a pretty good likeness."

Luffy now had the poster. "It's a pretty good drawing, Sanji. I don't know why you hate it so much."

"LISTEN HERE!" Sanji yelled. "THAT DRAWING OF ME LOOKS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LIKE ME!"

Schuyler and Luffy pondered this.

"It's a drawing _of_ you..." Luffy began.

"... But it looks nothing_ like_ you?" Schuyler finished.

They thought about for a little longer before they both nodded and said in unison, "It's a mystery drawing!"

Sanji smacked his head against the table. They were both hopeless.

And it was then Usopp had a realization.

"Oh. My. Gosh," he said. "It all makes sense."

"What makes sense, Longnose-bro?" Franky asked, seeing as everyone else was busy watching the debacle between Sanji and the two morons. However, at the speedo-clad man's question, everyone turned to face the sniper.

"I've been thinking all day that Schuyler reminded me of someone," Usopp explained. "She's loud, she's not particularly bright-"

"Hey!" Schuyler protested.

"-she loves meat, she's slow on the uptake, she's dense enough to be amazed at the simplest of things-"

"HEY!" Schuyler protested again.

"-and now the minute she doesn't understand something, she decides it's a mystery?" Usopp finished.

Franky's glasses slipped on to his metal nose. "No way... are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Usopp nodded grimly. "Indeed I am. We have finally found Luffy's female counterpart."

The cyborg and the sniper stared at each other for a moment, before they both shouted out in horror. Chopper followed them in suit.

Luffy saw his friends' reactions and laughed out loud. Robbin chuckled at their antics as well.

_He's right_, Nami though in similar horror. _She's like a slightly smarter Luffy... with Zoro's sense of direction_.

* * *

Zoro sneezed himself awake this time, then looked to both sides.

"Someone's either talking or thinking about me..." he said to himself.

He laid back down on the mast with an irritated sigh.

"Better not be that love cook."

* * *

"_Two_ Luffys?" Chopper gasped. "I didn't think such a thing was possible!"

"I do see some personality resemblance, now that you mention it," Robin commented.

"What's so bad about her thinking the drawing is a mystery?" Luffy asked thoughtfully.

"Nothing, Captain. We're just surprised to see someone so much like you here on the Grand Line."

The crew talked amongst themselves, commenting in other ways how Schuyler was like Luffy. Sanji, however, was too busy lamenting his horrible poster to join in.

"You jerks!" Schuyler yelled. "I was just kidding about the poster! I knew Sanji would be vain enough to be bothered by it, so I was just poking fun! Geez!"

Sanji raised his head. "Oh, thank goodness. Never do that to me again!"

"Pfft, you make it too easy, Sanji-chan. As for the rest of you, I know Sanji-chan would never grow up to be _that_ ugly. I may be a little _dense_, but I'm not_ stupid_."

"What's the difference, Schuyler-san?" Brook asked.

"Well, dense means you can be a bit slow, but you still-" she began.

"Wait, wait, hold up," Nami interrupted. "Brook? When did you get here?"

"He's been standing here at the table for, like, five minutes now," Schuyler said. "Before that, he was playing with the band over in the corner."

Everyone turned to look. Sure enough, there was a band playing soft music. The drummer gave Brook a thumbs up.

Schuyler smirked. "And you all say _I'm_ slow on the uptake."

Everyone looked slightly embarrassed at that, except Luffy. He just said hi to his musician and continued to eat his dinner.

"Why were you playing in the band?" Sanji asked.

"Well, I did say I heard music when when came to port. This cafe was the source of it. After I listened for awhile, one of the band members noticed I had a violin and asked if I would care to join in. I wasn't expecting run into you all here, and I certainly wasn't expecting you have such a lovely new face with you." The skeleton stepped over to Schuyler and bent down slightly. "Dear lady, would you be so kind as to show me your-"

Sanji lept up and spin-kicked Brook in skull. "DON'T ASK HER THAT!"

Brook fell to the ground, a large bump on his head (not that he had any muscle up there to bump anymore. Skull joke!). "You're so harsh, Sanji-san..."

"Clearly not harsh enough, or you wouldn't keep doing that, crappy musician!" Sanji barked, sitting back down.

Schuyler looked between the two, before turning to Robin and asking, "Do I _want_ to know, or should I live in ignorance?"

"I'd choose the latter option when Brook is involved," Robin responded truthfully. She leaned her head against her hand. "Ms. Schuyler, if you don't mind me asking, you never full answered Sanji's original question. Why are you here at this resort?"

"Like I said, to find Sanji," she replied. A wistful expression came on to her face. "Right before he left home, he promised that one day, after he'd become a real chef, we'd find each other and he'd tell me all about it. But that was more than ten years ago. Up until recently, I had no idea where to even start looking for him." She grinned. "I guess it's just my luck you all decided to declare war on the World Government, otherwise I'd would've never known where to try and find him."

Sanji smiled at that. Nami couldn't help but notice it was the kind of smile he got whenever he was cooking something extra special, or talking about the All Blue.

_The smile he gets when he is genuinely and utterly happy_, Nami thought to herself. _How close is he to Schuyler? And why hasn't he ever mentioned her before_?

"Aw man, that's so touching!" Franky sobbed. "To hold on to a promise that long! That's so inspiring!"

"Oi Franky, are you crying?" Luffy asked.

"Shut up, I'm not crying!"

"Shishishi! If you say so!"

"Let me rephrase my question," Robin said. "I was more or less wondering_ how _you got here. You told Longnose you weren't a marine, so how did you make it to the Grand Line?"

Schuyler shrugged and took another bite of food. "That's easy. I came with a pirate crew."

Sanji performed a spit-take. "_You're_ a pirate? _You_?"

"Says the _pirate_ chef sitting next to me," Schuyler pointed out, bopping him gently upside the head. "Yes, I am. I'm the ship's navigator."

"You're a _navigator_?" Chopper asked, shocked.

Schuyler held up her left wrist, revealing she had been wearing a log pose with an orange strap the entire time. How it survived the fight with Luffy was anyone's guess.

"You got lost in one district for three days!" Nami shouted. "How could anyone trust you to guide their ship?!"

"Oi oi, that's just on land!" Schuyler argued. "On the sea, I could probably navigate you to Raftel if you wanted me to. But on dry land, it's like my internal compass gets thrown out of whack. Don't ask me why, it just does!"

"Well, _someone_ clearly thinks highly of their skills," Nami sniffed. "Besides, if anyone's navigating someone to the One Piece, it's going to be me."

"Be my guest. I have no interest in finding the One Piece."

Okay, maybe she wasn't so much like Luffy after all.

"That's good," Luffy said, crossing his arms proudly. "Because I'm one who's going to find it. Then I'll be the Pirate King!"

Schuyler raised an eyebrow, then started laughing. In a good-natured way, not a mocking one. "Nahahahaha! That's quite a character you have for a captain, Sanji-chan! He's weird, but I like him!"

"You're one to talk about being weird!" Usopp, Nami, and Chopper said at the same time.

"Glad you approve," Sanji drawled. "So, you're a pirate too, and a navigator?"

Schuyler nodded. "Uh-huh. I'm the navigator of the Cutthroat Pirates!"

Silence fell over the table.

"What?"

"Your crew..." Franky said. "... is called the_ Cutthroat_ Pirates?"

Now it was Schuyler's turned to hang her head dejectedly. "Yeah, they didn't tell me the name of the crew until_ after_ I joined. I didn't expect a crew under Cutthroat Laney to have such a stern name."

"Shouldn't his epithet have been any indication?" Usopp sweatdropped.

"Maybe." Schuyler lifted her head and groaned. "The Cutthroats are completely off their rockers, and Captain Laney is a complete sleezeball. Did you know I once caught him rifling through my underwear drawer? What a pig!"

"He is a pig!" Sanji agreed. (Though, he had probably done similar actions aboard the Sunny). "Where is he? If you want me to, I'll kick him into next week!"

"You don't have to go through the trouble, Sanji-chan. I'm a big girl and I can handle it myself. Anyway, it's not going to matter in the long run. I'm thinking about ditching them here, actually."

At those words, if was as if the temperature had dropped 20 degrees, and the source of the chill came from none other than the table's resident captain.

"You can't ditch your crew!" Luffy shouted suddenly. He looked upset. "They're your friends, aren't they? You can't just leave them at some resort after coming to the Grand Line together! I can't believe you'd say something like that! What kind of pirate are you?"

Everyone stared at Luffy. They didn't get outbursts like that from him unless what was said truly upset him, and they could understand why Schuyler's words did. To Luffy, a pirate crew was like a family. You didn't just 'ditch' them.

Schuyler gave Luffy an understanding look. "Luffy-chan, I can see where you're coming from, but the Cutthroats aren't my friends. In fact, I only joined them because the captain of my previous crew died and I needed a ride."

"_Previous_ crew?" Chopper asked.

She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Yeah... to tell you the truth, I didn't come to the Grand Line with the Cutthroats. They're actually like the thirty-seventh or thirty-eighth pirate crew I've been on in the last five years. Give or take."

The Straw Hats gasped in unison. She had been on_ that_ many crews?

"Thirty-eight pirate crews?" Brook gasped. "That's almost unheard of, even for more experienced ship-jumpers!"

"Ship jumpers?' Chopper asked.

"In my day, a ship-jumper is what we called a person who never stuck with one pirate crew. They were typically seen as the lowest of the low amongst pirates, because you could never truly have their loyalty."

"Hey, watch who you're calling low!" Sanji snapped.

"I'm not calling Schuyler-san low, Sanji-san! I just-"

"I'm afraid Brook-chan's right, Sanji-chan," Schuyler said softly. "I've never been able to give 100% loyalty to any of the crews I've been a part of. None them ever seemed to... I don't know, _fit_. I'm still just looking for the right one."

Nami gave Schuyler a more sympathetic look. She sounded so ... lonely.

She turned to Luffy. "I'm sorry if what I said upset you. I didn't mean any disrespect to crews or anything." Schuyler then stood up and picked up her duffel bag. "On that note, I think I've wasted enough of Sanji-chan's money. Now that I know where I am, I can finally go sleep in the 100,000 beri hotel room I paid for three days ago."

"You're leaving already?" Luffy asked. He had calmed down from his previous outburst, and was now giving Schuyler a curious look.

"Well, I'll still be here for a few more days at least, so I'm sure we'll run into each other again soon." She turned and gave Sanji a grin. "I'll especially want to see Sanji-chan again. He still hasn't told me all about being a real chef yet!"

Sanji nodded. "Yes, and you have to tell me all about the awesome places you said you were going to explore!"

Schuyler's smiled faltered. "Right... of course."

Robin raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing.

Luffy, meanwhile, continued giving Schuyler that curious look.

* * *

The Straw Hats payed for their meal after being fervently told by the owners to never return, and were soon standing outside the restaurant with Schuyler. In the time they had been in there, the sun had fallen low in the sky, and the resort's nightlife was being to arouse.

"So, we'll see you tomorrow, right?" Luffy asked.

Schuyler nodded. "If nothing comes up, yeah. If you want, I'll even tell you funny Little Sanji-chan stories. I know a lot of blackmail-worthy ones that will keep you laughing for hours."

"Schuyler!" Sanji protested.

"Sounds good to me," Nami laughed. "I look forward to them!"

"Nami-swan, _whhhhy_!"

Schuyler laughed at her friend's antics, and started to walk away, waving the crew goodbye.

"Goodbye, Schuyler-san!" Brook called out cheerfully. "It was very nice to see your beauty there in the cafe! Ah! Not that I have eyes to see with, anyway! Yohohohoho!"

Schuyler stopped walking and turned to stare at Brook, before her eyes were practically bugging out of her head.

"AIIIIIIEEEE! TALKING SKELETON!"

The Straw Hats fell over.

"YOU JUST _NOW_ NOTICED?!"

* * *

"You know, I was expecting the Straw Hats to be more... scary," Saffron said from her spot on the roof. She lowered her binoculars. "Considering they took out Crocodile and destroyed Enies Lobby."

"Just goes to show, you can't get all your information from rumors-ja," Bequel sighed, leaning back on a chimney. "A little observation can go a long way-ja."

"Speaking of observation, shouldn't you be with Kable?" she asked. "He was supposed to be helping you practice your new powers."

"I'm fine-ja," Bequel insisted. "We still have a day or two before Behni initiates her end game, so I'll have plenty of time to get practice-ja."

Saffron frowned. "You can't master an ability that quickly, moron. 5,000 beris says you lose control and get your rear kicked in the first five minutes."

"And 5,000 beris says you get your rear kicked in the first _ten_ minutes, cause your ability _sucks... -_ja."

"Funny, my twenty-five bounties turned-in streak says otherwise."

"Shut up," Bequel growled. He omitted the _-ja_, meaning he was getting very irritated. He snatched the binoculars and gazed down at the pirates. "Behni better know what she's doing. Every gut instinct I have is telling me to kill these Straw hats before they can kill me. I want to get this over with."

"... -ja," Saffron added mockingly.

"SHUT UP, WOMAN!"


	7. Chapter 6

**I can't believe none of you called me out on the One Piece Movie 5 reference! I'm ashamed of you! ...Okay, not really. But seriously, next time I do something like that, call me out on it!**

**Anyway, who saw the new One Piece opening, _Wake up!_? I did, and I liked it. I thought it was very catchy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. If I did, I'd be filthy stinking rich. And Zoro would go shirtless a lot more.**

* * *

**Chapter 6: In Which Sanji Has a Long Overdue Heart-to-Heart, and There Are Tidings of Bad Things to Come**

* * *

_"Hey kid!"_

_Sanji looked up, only to find a grinning, freckled face right up in his own._

_"Ahhh!" he shouted, then scooting as far away as possible._

_It was girl. She looked to be a few years older than him, and had messy wavy black hair. She wore a lavender cardigan over her raggedy grey dress, and snow boots._

_"Why are you sitting out here in the snow?" she asked. "You part reindeer or somethin'?"_

_Sanji swallowed the previous bout of panic and glared at her. "Shut up! I can be out here if I want to! Why would that make me part reindeer? And why were you so close to my face anyway?!"_

_"Reindeer's like the snow. Duh," she replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "As for being up in your face... well, I just felt like it."_

_"That's not a good reason!"_

_"Whoever said I needed one?"_

_Sanji scowled and got up to move away from her, but when he turned, she was right in front of him again._

_"What the-?" he yelped. "How did you-"_

_"You're the new kid, Sanji, right?" she asked curiously._

_"Are you asking me or telling me?"_

_"What, don't you know your own name?"_

_"Of course I do, and it_ is_ Sanji!"_

_The girl nodded. "Good, that means you're not stupid. So, why are you out here, for real? Shouldn't be inside, playing with the others?"_

_Sanji crossed his arms. "Probably, but nobody wanted to play with the curly-browed freak."_

_The girl inspected his eyebrow (the one not covered by his hair. He always made sure to keep at least one brow hidden, because both of them together looked even more weird)._

_"It_ is_ curly!" she exclaimed. "That's awesome! I bet the other kids were making fun of you because they're so jealous!"_

This girl's kind of an idiot, isn't she?_ Sanji thought. But to her he said, "Um, yeah, whatever you say."_

_The girl grinned. "I like you! My name's Schuyler! Wanna play with me?"_

_"No way! I'm not playing with a girl!" Sanji looked around. "Besides, why would you want to play out here? It's freezing, and you're not even dressed right! Aren't you cold?"_

_The girl, Schuyler, looked over her clothes, then yelped and hugged her arms._

_"IT'S COLD!"_

_"YOU JUST_ NOW_ NOTICED?"_

_"Nahahahaha! You're funny, Sanji-chan!"_

_"WHO SAID YOU COULD CALL ME THAT?!"_

_"I don't need permission! Wise up, Sanji-chan!"_

_Sanji-chan..._

_Sanji..._

"Sanji!"

Sanji came back to reality with a start. "Huh-wuh- did you say something, Nami dear?"

Nami jerked her thumb behind her. "You coming inside, or are you going to just stand out here all night?"

Having said goodbye to Schuyler for the night, the Strawhats had to stop back at the main hotel to retrieve the keys to their bungalow (Nami and Sanji had neglected to pick them up the first time due to their Find-Luffy dash). Afterwards, they made a quick pit-stop at the Sunny to have Zoro trade ship-watching shifts with one of them. While the resort promised total ship-security, they weren't going to take any chances with the Sunny.

Zoro had, of course, been asleep when they found him, but a quick kick in the face from Sanji quickly remedied that. Once their usual scuffle was finished, Franky volunteered to take the ship-watching shift, claiming there was some detail work he had been meaning to get done. The crew told him not to stay up too late, said goodnight, then made their way to Bungalow 17 on the north beach, which is where they were now.

"Let me get this straight," Zoro called out to the main room as he set his bag down in one of the bungalow's bedrooms. "You mean to tell me the dartboard got within holding distance of a gorgeous girl, and he didn't so much as_ look_ perverted?"

"I'm telling you, it happened!" Usopp insisted from his spot on the couch. "Even when she held him to her chest and gave him a noogie, he didn't so much a twitch!"

Zoro stepped into the main room. "Are you lying?"

"For once, he's not!" Chopper said. "I saw the whole thing!"

"My ears are burning," Sanji growled as he came in. "Would you guys lay off?"

"No way," Zoro said. "I refuse to believe the curly cook is even physically capable of not acting like a moron around a pretty girl."

"Hey!" Sanji protested.

"Sanji was acting pretty weird," Luffy added, lying upside-down on the couch. "But Schuyler was pretty nice. I hope we see her again while we're here. She told me that we should have an eating contest before she leaves."

"If you two do that, there won't be any food left on the island," Usopp said.

"Shishishi, yeah, she could sure eat a lot! I wonder if her stomach's made of rubber too."

"I think it's safe to say your stomach is the only rubber one around here, Captain," Robin assured him. "Back on topic, why didn't you try flirting with Ms. Schuyler, Sanji?"

Sanji really hoped he wasn't blushing, but at Robin's question, his face felt hot. "W-What are you talking about?"

"It's no secret you like women, Sanji," Nami clarified. "And Schuyler is a very pretty woman. You started to act like your usual self until you saw her face. So why the sudden change of character?"

"Schuyler-san is quite beautiful, Sanji-san," Brook added, taking a sip of tea. "And I've never seen you look so happy as you were talking to her, except maybe when you're cooking."

"I noticed that too," Nami agreed.

"Don't tell me this chick's the cook's long-lost girlfriend," Zoro groaned. He actually had a bet going on with Usopp that Sanji had never even_ been_ with a girl, and he'd hate to lose.

"Schuyler's Sanji's girlfriend?" Luffy gasped. "When did that happen?"

"Wait, hold up, it's nothing like that!" Sanji reeled. He could_ not_ believe he was in this situation. "Schuyler's not my girlfriend! For starters, I was eight when I last saw her, and she was eleven! Eight year olds don't have girlfriends! And I can't _flirt_ with with Schuyler, she's... well, _Schuyler_!"

"What difference does that make?" Chopper asked.

"Imagine if Luffy was a girl, and he tried flirting with Ace," Sanji suggested with an involuntary shudder. _Not_ a mental image he wanted, but necessary to make his point.

The Straw Hats (save for Robin because she was more mature than that, and Brook, because he'd never met Ace, therefore didn't have an good enough idea of what he was like to make the mental image) all recoiled, with disgusted looks on their faces.

"Exactly," Sanji said with a nod. "That's how it would be like for me if I tried flirting with Schuyler. While I will admit she's grown to become quite the gorgeous lady, flirting with her would be way too weird and_ way_ too awkward."

"Going off your analogy, you make it sound like Schuyler is your sister or something," Usopp observed.

"Well, yeah, I suppose she kind of is," Sanji admitted, rubbing his neck. "Believe it or not, I wasn't very popular as a kid. Schuyler was one of the few friends I had growing up. She was there for me, even when I didn't want her to be. In many ways, she _was_ like a big sister. More specifically, she was the big sister I never had, or particularly wanted at first." He chuckled to himself." But you saw how she is. She's stubborn, not to mention relentless."

Nami smiled at Sanji's story. "So, Schuyler was like your family before Zeff and the Baratie?"

Sanji laughed. "You know, Nami, she was. Makes me wish I had made more of an effort to keep in touch with her. Eleven years really is too long, and I had no idea how much I've missed her until now."

"Then it's a good thing we ran into her then," Nami noted. She knew what it was like to miss your sister.

"I find it rather odd that we did run into her," Robin spoke up. "I understand after our battle at Enies Lobby she would have known what general area we were in, but that was weeks ago. And we weren't even heading to this resort in the first place. How did she know we would end up here?"

Sanji shrugged. "As you've seen, Schuyler is something of an odd duck. I came to accept long ago just to trust her on her hunches, no matter how out there they seem to be."

"Schuyler's a duck?" Luffy asked. "Did she eat a zoan devil fruit like Chopper? She doesn't look anything like Carue!"

"Who's Carue?" Brook asked absently.

"Curly didn't mean a real duck, moron," Zoro said. "He meant this Schuyler girl is just a little weird."

"Oh," Luffy nodded in understanding. "Rats. Her being a duck would've been cool."

"What's so cool about a duck?" Usopp asked.

"Carue was a duck, and he was awesome!"

"Who is Carue?" Brook repeated.

"A giant duck that belongs to a friend of ours," Chopper explained. "I think Nami mentioned him in the logbook."

"Hmm... oh yes, he was the pet to your princess friend from Alabasta! I can't believe I forgot reading that. I suppose I just needed to wrack my brain a little..." Brook paused. "Ah! But I don't have a brain anymore! Yohohoho, skull joke!"

Nami groaned. "You set that joke up on purpose!"

Luffy laughed. "Good one, Brook!"

Nami whacked her captain upside the head. "Don't encourage him!"

Robin simply chuckled.

Seeing that the conversation had deteriorated some, Sanji smirked to himself and removed a cigarette from it's box with his lips.

"You'll have to do that outside, Sanji," Robin spoke up. "The resort doesn't allow smoking in the bungalows."

"Of course, I apologize, Robin-chwan!" Sanji cooed. "I'll step outside!"

* * *

The bungalow itself had large back porch, and it was a warm night, so Sanji didn't mind moving outdoors. He stepped out, closing the back door to the sounds of his crew's antics. He ended up sitting down on the back porch steps, after which he was finally able to light his cigarette.

Sanji took a drag. Well, it had been quite a day. First they discovered a resort on a floating meteorite, then had to go charging through said resort like headless chickens in an attempt to locate their stupid captain, and ended up running into the girl he hadn't seen in over ten years.

He exhaled smoke. He still couldn't believe it was her. Robin had been right, of course. The odds of just running into Schuyler were practically nil. Then again, this was the Grand Line. Stranger things have happened then simply coming across an old childhood friend you hadn't seen in years. Mosshead had just ran into that Saga guy, right?

... Okay, maybe Saga wasn't the best example of a successful reunion.

Anyway, he had meant what he said back there. He truly hadn't realized how much he missed Schuyler until he saw her again, and that depressed him a little. His life had been so busy these last few years he hadn't really had any time to think of her. Though, he remembered thinking about their goodbye before he boarded the_ Orbit_ when he'd been stranded on that rock. His more cynical side had been cursing Schuyler six ways from Sunday for jinxing him, but he soon grew too hungry to really care after that.

And then there had been his and the old geezer's rescue and recovery, not to mention getting the Baratie ready to open. It actually wasn't until one year after they got the restaurant up and running did he start thinking about Schuyler again.

_"Eggplant!" Zeff's rough voice grated throughout the restaurant. "You little brat, get in the kitchen! You're supposed to be washing dishes!"_

_Zeff stormed through the kitchen and out onto the back deck, finally finding the little boy. Sanji was lying on his stomach, writing on a piece of paper._

_"Sanji!"_

_Sanji stiffened and turned his head. "Whaddya want, old geezer?"_

_Zeff crossed his arms. "What do you think you're doing out here?"_

_"None of your business!"_

_Zeff walked in front of Sanji, leaned down, and snatched the piece of paper right from under the boy's quill._

_"Hey! Give that back!"_

_Zeff skimmed the paper. "What's this, a letter? Who do you have to write to, Eggplant?"_

_"It's to a friend of mine in the North Blue!" Sanji snapped. "I haven't written to her since I left, I keep having guilt dreams, so this is an outlet!"_

_Zeff looked at the letter, then at Sanji, then back to the letter. Letting out a sigh, he returned the paper to the little boy._

_"Fine, you can finish your letter," Zeff said. "But I want you to get started on the dishes the moment you're done!"_

_"Yeah yeah, whatever. Stupid geezer."_

_"Little brat."_

Sanji had only written two more times after that, then he'd begun his fight training with Zeff on top of learning how to cook. He simply hadn't had the time to remember to occasionally write the girl he saw as his big sister a freaking letter.

Sanji looked down and nearly bit into his cigarette. Schuyler had said she never heard from him, so she assumed he really did starve to death somewhere. Just as he thought, none of those letters had ever reached her. What a letdown.

He sighed and lifted his head, only to find the girl he had been thinking about not even an inch from his face.

Schuyler lifted her hand. "Yo."

Sanji reeled back. "Argh! Schuyler, why are you so close to my face?!"

"'Cause I felt like it."

"That's not a good reason!"

Schuyler smirked. "Whoever said I needed one?"

Whoa, deja vu. Sanji rolled his eyes before asking, "What are you doing here? I thought you were going back to your hotel room."

Schuyler put on a pouty-expression. "I got lost and couldn't find the main hotel building, so I ended up wandering over to this beach. Didn't expect to find you though. Mind if I sit?"

Sanji nodded and scooted over a little to make room for Schuyler on the step. Schuyler set her duffel bag on the ground and sat down next to him. Once seated, she zipped open her bag and removed, surprisingly, a box of cigarettes. She calmly removed one with her lips before asking, "Got a light?"

Sanji gave her a wide-eyed expression, but tossed her his lighter.

"Nice lighter," she commented casually. She lit up her cigarette and tossed it back to him. She exhaled some of the smoke before noticing Sanji was staring at her. "What? Something wrong?"

Sanji shook his head. "No, nothing's wrong. It's just that... well, I didn't take you for the smoking type. It's bad for a lady's health, you know."

"Pot and kettle."

"Shut up! I'm a man, that's different!"

Now it was Schuyler's turn to roll her eyes. "Hardly. The only difference between a man and a lady is a few different parts. Anyways, I'm nowhere near the chain smoker you are. I only smoke these things once a month, so I figured tonight was as good a night as any."

Sanji considered going into a spiel about how there were many, _many_ more differences between men and women than that, but decided against it. It would probably all go in one ear and out the other.

The two sat in uncomfortable silence. This was the first time these two had been alone together in years, but neither really knew what to say.

"So, uh, navigation!" Sanji piped up. "When did you get into that? I mean, if today's any indication, your sense of direction hasn't gotten any better."

"Yeah, it hasn't," Schuyler agreed. "Funny thing though, right after you left, I got lost on the way back to the orphanage from the docks. A policeman had to lead me back, and my ears are _still_ ringing from the tongue-lashing Matron gave me. It was after that she sat me down, gave me a compass and a book on navigation, and said to get freaking clue already. So here I am."

Sanji chuckled. "Matron always did have a short temper. Anyway, why is it you suck at it on land, but on the sea you're good enough to navigate the Grand Line?"

Schuyler shrugged and took another drag. "Search me if I know. Though, it's probably the reason why I'm just a navigator and not a cartographer."

"You're far from 'just' a navigator. Chopper told me a little bit about your fight with Luffy, and Luffy filled in the extra details on the way to the cafe. Were you really able to hurt Luffy just by flicking him?"

"Yeah. It's no big deal."

"It is a big deal! Luffy's rubber, blunt attacks can't hurt him. Even so, a flick shouldn't have hurt so much. How'd you do it?"

Schuyler gave Sanji a weird look, as if she actually expected him to know. When he didn't say anything, she exhaled some smoke and smirked. "Sorry, it's a secret."

Sanji crossed his arms and said in feign irritation, "So now you're keeping secrets from me. Nice." He took a drag. "In any case, it's nice to see I wasn't the only one who got stronger after all these years. It's no small feat to hold one's own against Straw Hat Luffy."

She playfully punched his arm. "We're on the Grand Line, Sanji-chan. Being strong is kind of a requirement."

"Pfft, no kidding. And do you have to keep calling me 'Sanji-chan?' I'm nineteen for crying out loud."

"I _like_ calling you that. And do you know why?"

"Why?"

Schuyler reached over and began pulling on Sanji's cheeks, saying in a baby voice, "Because to me, you'we still my adowable baby Sanji-chan." She let go and his cheeks went back into place with an audible _snap_. She spoke normally this time. "And nothing will ever change that."

Sanji pushed her hands away. "Knock it off."

"I've already stopped. That was a delayed reaction."

"Shut up. And I'm not a baby. I'm a wanted pirate worth 77 million."

"Of course you are. I saw the poster."

What made her response more irritating was that she said this in a cheerful, honest tone instead of a mocking one. However, defending his pirate status had reminded Sanji of an issue he was planning to discuss with Schuyler tomorrow, but when would he get another chance to be alone with her like this?

"Uh, hey, Schuyler? Can I ask you something?" Sanji said, removing his cigarette from his mouth for a moment.

"Uh-huh," Schuyler replied, mimicking the motion. "Shoot."

"Are you really okay with the whole 'me being a pirate' thing? I want your honest response."

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

Sanji leaned his elbow on his leg, and rested his chin on his palm. "Well, it's just that when we were kids, I remember that you didn't like pirates. In fact, you hated them. Remember that one time we saw a pirate ship attack a passenger boat from the beach?"

Schuyler's expression darkened. She did remember, apparently. After a moment, her face lightened and she shrugged with a half-smile. "Okay, honestly, I'm not too thrilled you became a pirate, but hey, it's your life. You can do whatever makes you happy. Does being on this pirate crew make you happy, Sanji-chan?"

Sanji smiled fondly at the thought of his crew. Crazy as they were, he didn't regret for a moment ever joining up with them. "Yes, it does."

"Then I'm happy." She sighed. "Besides, it's not like I'm in any position to criticize." She pointed to herself. "'Ship-jumper', remember?"

"There's nothing wrong with that. Brook was just being stupid as usual." He paused. "Wait, if you still don't like pirates-"

"Then why did I ever become one?" Schuyler finished for him. She took a deep drag this time. "Out of necessity, I guess. Easiest way to travel without having to join up with the Navy, and there was no way I was ever going to wear that hideous uniform. What about you? Why did you become a pirate?"

Sanji grinned. "Tell me Schuyler, have you ever heard of the All Blue?"

"All what?"

"I'll take that as a no."

He began to explain what the All Blue was. How it was a mystical sea where you could find fish from all four blues swimming within its depths, and how it was a chef's paradise.

"A place that fantastic has to be here on the Grand Line!" Sanji finish with enthusiasm. "Luffy was already coming here anyway, and he needed a chef. It all just worked out like that."

He decided not to tell her about his stubbornness against going, and the whole Don Krieg debacle. If he remembered correctly, Schuyler had always been a worrywart when it came to his safety.

"That... sounds... _amazing_!" Schuyler exclaimed. "You really think the All Blue exists?"

"It'd better, or else I would left home for nothing," Sanji laughed. He leaned back and looked up at the night sky. The stars were out tonight. "I first heard about the All Blue on the _Orbit_, but all the other chefs kept trying to convince me it was just a story. It wasn't until I met Zeff did I finally find someone who believed in it just as much as I did."

Schuyler raised an eyebrow. "Zeff?"

"Oh, right, Zeff was the man who taught me how to cook. I spent ten years helping him on the floating restaurant Baratie. Coincidentally, he used to be a pirate too."

Schuyler crossed her arms. "Well, how was I supposed to know that? I never even got so much as a letter from you."

Sanji winced. So she _was_ bitter about him not staying in touch. "I _did_ write to you, but only three times. You never answered the previous two, and after the third one, I got a letter from Matron saying that you weren't there anymore. I always assumed you finally got adopted or something."

Schuyler also winced. "No, that's not it. Looks like it's also my fault for not staying touch too. When did you send that first letter?"

"About two or three years after I left."

"There's your answer. The orphanage only takes kids under the age of twelve. So once I turn thirteen..."

Sanji stood up. "They kicked you out?!"

Schuyler nodded, and rubbed her neck sheepishly. "Yeah, guess I never told you that rule back when you were with us. Matron told me to go get an apprenticeship somewhere like you did. It wasn't easy, that's for sure! But I'm a survivor, and I managed!"

Sanji sat back down and stubbed out his cigarette. "That doesn't make it fair. You didn't deserve that." He gave her a serious look. "Schuyler, you were a nice, happy kid. Someone like you should have been adopted."

Schuyler chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, maybe. But I suppose no one wanted the slow, odd-duck girl who wouldn't shut up about Noland the Liar. Whatever. I've made my peace with it."

Sanji pursed his lips. Part of his conscience was berating him for leaving Schuyler all those years ago. Maybe if he had stayed...

He shook his head. If he had stayed, he probably would have never met Zeff, and in turn would have never met Luffy, Usopp, the crappy swordsman, and Nami-swan. He regretted not being there for Schuyler, but he didn't regret the decisions he'd made all those years ago. However, he had just the story that would clear the tension.

"... You know, Noland _wasn't_ a liar."

Schuyler stubbed out her cigarette as well. "What are you talking about?"

"Know how the story says he lied about the City of Gold?"

"Yeah."

"My crew found it. We found the City of Gold."

Schuyler gave him a long look, before jumping to her feet and shouting, "YOU FOUND IT?! REALLY?"

Sanji nodded. "You bet. It's actually called Shandora, but we found it."

Schuyler gaped. "I don't believe it! How did you get to something that sank to the bottom of the sea?"

"That's just it; it didn't sink. It was actually blasted up onto a sky island by the Knock-Up Stream. I assume as a navigator, you know what that is?"

"Yeah, I've heard of it! Are you saying that this whole time, the City of Gold has been on a sky island?"

"Would I lie to you?"

Schuyler squealed and pulled Sanji into a bone-crushing hug. She didn't let go for a solid two minutes, after which Sanji said she was crushing him and she released the blond man.

She sat back down and grinned happily. "I can't believe it! This whole time, it was real. I knew it, I knew Noland was right! Man, I wish I had been with you when you discovered it. It must have been so much fun!"

I_f you want to call getting electrocuted by a pseudo-god fun, then yes, it was a_ load_ of fun_, Sanji thought.

Schuyler leaned back and laughed. "Your crew is so cool! You must have been to all kinds of awesome places besides sky islands and cities of gold. I'm so jealous! You were supposed to be the cook, and me the explorer! You can't be both!"

Sanji laughed too. "C'mon, surely you've been to some cool places too. You've been pirating for a least five years now, so that means you must have been all over Paradise."

Schuyler stopped laughing and gained a serious, yet wistful expression.

Sanji frowned. "What wrong?"

Schuyler smiled sadly. "It's just that I haven't really had a lot time to do any real exploring these last few years, is all. I've seen some interesting places, but they're probably average compared to the places you've been to."

Sanji's frown deepened. Schuyler hadn't been able to pursue her dream, even after all this time?

Schuyler hugged her knees. "I guess it's easier to say one thing as kid than actually do it as an adult." She turned her head and gave Sanji a reassuring smile. "But enough about that. Tell me more about your crew. You guys have stopped here obviously, but where are you headed next?"

Sanji didn't like she was changing the subject, but he decided to let it go for now. "Well, our log pose is pointing towards Fishman Island, so we're heading there. And after that, we're going to the New World."

"Are you _insane_?!" Schuyler shouted in a panicky tone. "You can't go to the New World!"

"We can't?"

"No! There's a reason they call the first half of the Grand Line Paradise! It's because in terms of the New World, this place is Paradise by _comparison_! And that's saying a lot!"

Sanji waved the concern off. "Heard it all before from a stupid shadow-leek guy, Schuy. Give us some credit. We're stronger than you think we are."

Schuyler looked ready to to tear her hair out in frustration. "The New World is for top pirates like Red Hair or Whitebeard, not for nine rookies on a winning streak! Is your captain suicidal? He's going to get you killed!"

"You don't want me to get killed?"

"Of course not!"

"Then come with us!"

"... Eh?"

Sanji crossed his arms and grinned. "If don't want me to get killed in the New World, why don't you come with us and make sure it doesn't happen?"

Schuyler looked completely shocked. "Are you... asking me to join your crew?"

"I'd have to run it by Luffy first, him being the captain and all," Sanji admitted. "But he likes you, so I think he'll go for it. And you said so yourself, you're already thinking of ditching the Cutthroats here at the resort. So why not become a Straw Hat? What do you say?"

"Can't do it," she replied immediately.

"... Don't you want to at least think about it?"

"There's nothing to think about. I can't join your crew, Sanji-chan."

"Why not? You're experienced, you're strong enough to keep up with Luffy, you're a decent navigator when not on land, and you get along with everyone! You'd be perfect for the crew!"

"You already have a navigator," Schuyler pointed out.

"That's not the point!" Sanji argued. "Why don't you want to join us?"

"Because every crew I've ever joined, the captain dies a few months later, okay?!"

Sanji stopped. What did she say?

Schuyler heaved a sigh. "I don't know, maybe I'm cursed or something. But every time I join a crew, the captain drops dead not long after, That's why I'm a ship jumper; because all my crews keep losing their captains. Only one of my captains has never died, and that's only because a rival crew won me in a Davy Back Fight before he could." She shuddered. "Ugh, that was_ not_ a good day..."

Sanji raised an eyebrow, And she'd said he was the one with horrible luck. "Your first captain?"

"Suffocated."

"Second?"

"Stabbed."

"After that?"

"Shot."

"Fourth?"

"Decapitated."

"And after that?"

"Slipped on a patch of ice."

"... And the one after that?"

"Decapitated_ after_ slipping on a patch of ice."

"... Ouch."

"Yeah. Ouch." Schuyler groaned. "And the list goes on and on. I don't like Cutthroat Laney, but I figured I cut and run before he ends up dead too."

Sanji nodded in understanding. "So you don't want to join because you think you'll curse our crew and get Luffy killed. Am I right?"

"Exactly. Luffy-chan seems like a nice guy, and you seem to like him. I don't want to ruin that for you."

Sanji considered this for a moment. He could see where Schuyler was coming from. It must have been hard, to think you were cursed and had to keep jumping from crew to crew because of it. And yet...

"No, I refuse!" Sanji announced.

Schuyler gave him a look. "Refuse what?"

"I refuse to accept your refusal," Sanji explained. He couldn't believe he was taking a page out of Luffy's _incredibly_ thin book, but it was appropriate given how much like him Schuyler was. "You need a crew, and I want you on mine. That's a good enough reason for us to be pirates together, don't you think?"

"Dang it, that's actually pretty good logic!" Schuyler yelled. "You know I can't argue with good logic! That's playing dirty!"

The Straw Hat chef smirked. "We're pirates. There's no such thing as playing dirty."

"STOP USING GOOD LOGIC!"

Sanji laughed. Usopp was right, Schuyler was just like Luffy. Now that he thought about it, maybe that's why he had been able to at least tolerate Luffy back when he first joined the crew. He had most likely subconsciously reminded him of Schuyler.

Schuyler scowled and stood up, slinging her duffel bag over her shoulder. "Fine, I'll _think_ about it. But you have to talk to Luffy-chan first, alright?"

"Alright," Sanji agreed. "Going to try and find your hotel now?"

"Yeah. I did pay for it, so I might as well use it. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure. And when you do, I'll cook that crying-inducing meal I promised you eleven years ago."

Schuyler snickered, before leaning down a planting a light, sisterly kiss on Sanji's forehead. Sanji's eyes widened and a deep blush erupted all over his face.

Schuyler smiled softly. "See you in the morning, Sanji-chan."

With that, Schuyler turned and hopped the the high fence, leaving Sanji all alone on the back porch to contemplate what the heck just happened.

After a few minutes, he said to himself, "Okay, I'm not the least bit attracted to her, and I know that kiss was purely platonic, but I think I'm allowed to say this just this once."

He lept into the air, twirling around enthusiastically.

"_MELLORINE_!"

* * *

The moment Schuyler was on the other side of the fence, the soft smile melted away into an annoyed, somewhat frustrated scowl.

"Damn it," she muttered. "He's not going to make this any easier on me, is he?"

She began walking down the beach. Schuyler hadn't planned to go and talk to Sanji when she saw him, but the childishly desire to interact with her old friend won out over common sense. And the conversation hadn't gone as she had hoped. Sanji had always had a knack for getting her to open up on things, or reminding her of events she would much rather not dwell upon.

_"Schuyler?" Sanji's little voice rang out. "Schuyler?!"_

_Schuyler looked away from the snow-sandman she was making on the beach. "What is it, Sanji-chan?"_

_Sanji pointed a mittened hand out to the open water. "Something's wrong! A ship out there just fired on another ship!"_

_Schuyler paled, making her freckles stick more than usual. When she looked towards where Sanji was pointing, even thought it was a bit far away, she immediately saw the skull and crossbones on the attacking ship's flag._

_"Pirates..." she gasped fearfully._

_Sanji looked up at her worriedly. "Pirates? What are pirates doing here?! Schuyler?"_

_Schuyler watched the two ships. The pirate ship kept firing on the passenger one, never stopping or relenting._

_"They're disappearing..." she whispered._

_Sanji gave her a confused look. "Schuyler?"_

_Tears began dripping from her eyes. "The pirates... are making them disappear. Why do pirates do that? Why do pirates always do that?!" She slammed her hands over her ears. "Stop it! Stop it right now!"_

_She turned and ran, wanting nothing more to get the heck away from the beach."_

_"Schuyler, wait up!" Sanji called out. "Schuyler, you're going the wrong way! Schuyler!"_

Schuyler removed herself from the memories. Now was not the time to reminiscence. (She personally blamed Sanji for bringing_ that_ memory up.) She had business to take care of.

She kept walking along the beach until she came close to the port. She had to make a quick detour back up to the main sidewalk, but soon found herself by the docks. It didn't take long to locate the ship with the gaudy warthog figurehead, and a jolly roger that showed a skeleton with its skull hanging off.

_Laney always did have poor taste_, she thought.

She walked up to the ship. Judging by the shouts and bad music, the Cutthroat Pirates were having their monthly drinking party... for the third time that month.

"Hey!" Schuyler called up. "One of you louts lower the ladder, I'm back!"

Apparently someone actually managed to hear her this time, because a few seconds later, the roper ladder dropped over the side and she was able to climb on up. Much to her disgust, she had been right. The entire crew was either guzzling down booze or dancing with each other to their crappy musician's tunes. (A weird sight to behold, given she was the only girl on the entire crew.)

"Schuyler, my lovely navigator!" a thick, slurred voice called out. "Glad to have you back!"

Schuyler grimaced at the sight of Captain 'Cutthroat' Laney. Laney was a portly man with a big, reddish nose and watery eyes. He looked like a stereotypical drunkard, but that was no reason to underestimate him. He wasn't called 'Cutthroat' for nothing, and not just anyone could earn a 95 million berri bounty.

"We missed you so much," Laney said with a hiccup. "You were right about coming here; this place is amazing! We've bought enough booze to last us through the apocalypse!"

She gave Laney a tight smile. "That's nice, Captain. I'm sure you're very satisfied."

Laney took another swig of his rum before continuing. "I can't believe you wanted to stay in a hotel when you could be partying with us! Glad to see you changed your mind! Why don't you sit and have a drink with me, so we can finally..." He squeezed her shoulder. "...get to know each other better."

_Ew, he's hitting on me_, Schuyler thought with a grimace. _I wonder if Sanji-chan's offer to kick him into next week still stands_...

To Laney, though, she put the tight smile back on and removed his hand. "Thanks, but no thanks, Captain. I didn't come here to party."

Laney looked confused, as if the idea of not wanting to party didn't register with him. "Oh? Then why did you come back here tonight?"

Schuyler set down her bag. "I just came here to tell you that I've decided to leave the crew."

The party came to sudden halt. The pirates stopped drinking and stopped dancing. The musician dropped his instrument in surprise.

Laney's eyes narrowed. "I beg your pardon? What did you just say?"

"I said I'm leaving the crew," Schuyler repeated. "I'm sick of putting up with you, so I'm calling it quits. Find yourself a new navigator; maybe one whose as much of a perverted drunken moron as you are."

The crew gasped in unison.

"Did she just insult the Captain?" one crewmate whispered.

"She's so dead," another added.

Laney's eyes had narrowed so much he might as well have been closing them. A vein on his forehead throbbed angrily. "Do you have _any_ idea who you're speaking to, you little wench?! I am Cutthroat Laney, with a bounty of 95 million berris! That's only five million away-"

"-From Super Rookie status, I _know_," Schuyler finished in a dull tone. "You say that_ only_ eight times a day. _Somebody_ has a superiority complex."

Laney began to snarl.

Schuyler turned her back to him. "Say whatever you want, I'm leaving tonight and you can't stop me. See you around, Laney."

Laney shrugged casually. "Alright, fine. You can leave." He reached into his coat and pulled out a long, insanely sharp-looking dagger. "Although, you should understand one thing."

Schuyler kept walking across the deck, her back still to him.

Laney ran forward. He was going to slit this little harlot's skinny neck for mocking him so! She didn't even know he was coming! He lept into the air...

"Oh, you're going to stomp on my back and slit my throat are you?"

Laney's eyes widened. As he descended, Schuyler easily moved out of the way of his knife, without even so much as looking at him. The only thing it ended up cutting was the string she used to hold up her ponytail. In one smooth movement, she turned on her heel and hooked leg around his neck, then slamming him against the deck, pinning him there.

"Wow. That was a little lame," Schuyler sighed. Her wavy black locks framed her face, falling just past her shoulders. "I expected better from someone with a bounty of 95 million."

Laney swallowed the large lump in his throat. "How did you... how did you predict my moves like that? You weren't even looking at me!"

Schuyler smirked, and the cold barrel of a flintlock pistol was pressed against his forehead. "Wouldn't you like to know. Sorry, but if a weakling like you doesn't know about it already, then there really isn't any point."

_**BANG!**_

"_CAPTAIN!_"

Schuyler stood and blew smoke from the barrel, using her free hand to push a few stray hairs off her face. That was too easy. She liked it better when they presented more of a challenge, but she had a schedule to keep.

"You witch!" one of the crew (the first mate, she noted) hollered. "How dare you kill Captain Laney!"

She gave him a deadpan expression. "I didn't see you making any attempts to assist him."

The first mate snarled and surged forward, a sword in hand. "DIE, YOU TRAITOR!"

Schuyler could have easily dodged him. Instead, she stood completely still, and allowed the first mate to slide his sword through her stomach.

"What the-" the first mate gasped, letting go of the sword and stepping back. Did she really just let a sword pierce her clean through?

If Schuyler was in any pain, she wasn't showing it. She looked at the sword and raised her eyebrows slightly. "Oh my. It appears I've been impaled."

She spoke as if she had noticed she had a splinter, not a mortal wound. She frowned and simply removed the sword, and much to the crew's horror, there wasn't a single drop of blood on the blade.

The scariest thing was the wound itself. Through the hole in her shirt, they could see it wasn't bleeding profusely like it should have been, but was lightly secreting a bluish-green ooze. The ooze then sealed up the wound, before vanishing completely. It was like it never even happened.

"That's better," she commented. She then threw the sword, which planted itself neatly into the first mate's own stomach. He howled in agony and feel to the ground.

"FIRST MATE!" the crew hollered. They gazed upon their bleeding comrade, then back at Schuyler.

Schuyler was smiling; pushing the left side of her hair back and spinning her pistol in her other hand.

"So," she said conversationally. "Anyone else feeling lucky?"


End file.
